Some of you folks may have seen this already on the WaxPoetics site. It’s an old Toyota commercial from the mid 90′s and it features Lootpack. Usually these things don’t really stick with me, but I have been watching this video on loop since yesterday. It’s taken my life, and it might take yours…

If I still have some sort of sense of humor left after all of that (which depends on whether or not you think I had one in the first place), maybe there’ll be more to come. Enjoy for now…

Click here to view the embedded video.

1. The main girl in Nelly’s “Hot In Herre” video used to date New Orleans Hornets’ shooting guard Morris Peterson.

2. Daz Dillinger once walked into Death Row Records’ offices armed with a screwdriver, high on mushrooms, to demand a royalty check from Suge Knight.

3. Chino XL is a member of MENSA.

4. The studio time allotted for recording Webbie’s “Independent” was exceeded by nearly 5 hours before they finally spelled the word correctly.

5. To complement the red star on the right of his face, The Game is planning on tattooing “GREAT JOB!” in an orange circle on the left side of his face, and “A++” on his forehead.

6. Wu-Tang affiliate Killah Priest earned his rap name by literally killing a priest.

7. Mike Jones lists as his influences Jay-Z, Three Six Mafia, Scarface, Jay-Z, Three Six Mafia, Scarface, Jay-Z, Three Six Mafia and Scarface.

8. DJ Drama drinks hot water with honey and lemon to maintain his voice while recording mixtape shout-outs.*

9. After the success of I Want To Work For Diddy, VH1 is planning a spin-off entitled I Want To Stop Working For Diddy, in which Black Rob, Mark Curry, Cheri Dennis, G-Dep, and various members of Dream, Fuzzbubble and Da Band will compete in weekly challenges. The winner will receive the money they were robbed of while signed to Bad Boy Records.

10. A noted environmentalist, Young Buck’s former spinning G-Unit chain ran on solar energy.

* – #8 was contributed by AaronM.

1. Inspectah Deck had a cold when he recorded his verse for “Stick Me For My Riches” off 8 Diagrams — one of his beefs with the final product was that he wasn’t able to re-record his verse before the album’s release. (This fun fact is dedicated to everyone that made it through the first minute of singing on that song.)

2. Former Wu-Tang affiliate and current Aphilliates Music Group president La The Darkman made several guest appearances on good friend Vanilla Ice’s ’01 album Bi-Polar.

3. The Neptunes’ beat for The Clipse’s “Wamp Wamp” — complete with Slim Thug’s hook — was originally sold to Foxy Brown prior to her hearing problems.

4. To maintain his self-proclaimed status as “your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper”, Styles P’s favorite rapper is Styles P.

5. Jay-Z spends the first 15 minutes of every morning wondering why he ever signed Amil.

6. DJ Khaled’s video for “Out Here Grindin’” was influenced by the Wu-Tang Clan’s video for “Triumph”. When recently asked what he liked most about the “Triumph” clip, Khaled responded, “WE THE BEST!”

7. Lil’ Jon and Paul Wall are married… to each other.

8. Contrary to what many of the artists that have worked with him have said, Dr. Dre is not actually a perfectionist — he’s just lazy.

9. Juelz Santana ghostwrites for Dominoes Pizza’s Pasta Dude. (Dominoes was prepared to begin selling pastas a year ago, but was one-upped by Pizza Hut while waiting for Santana’s contract situation to be resolved.)

10. Childhood friends Jadakiss, Young Jeezy, Antoine Walker and Al Harrington used to go trick-or-treating together as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Since I’ve basically ripped this idea off of David Letterman and his writers at The Late Show (I acknowledged as much from the jump), I feel it’s only fair that, in exchange for not receiving any cease-and-desist letters, I offer a plug for their official Fun Facts book, which collects all of the material from the show’s Fun Facts segments over the past few years. If not a full-on purchase, it’s good for at least a quick perusal at your local bookstore if/when you’ve ever got time to kill.

(Image courtesy of The Smoking Gun and the other sites emphatically tagged over the pic)

So, has this whole ordeal about Rick Ross being a C.O. in his former life — you know, back when he was mere mortal William Roberts and not “the biggest bawse that you’ve thus far” — boiled over yet? Yes? No? Either way, before most major label rappers sign their multi-million dollar contracts, chances are that there were less glamorous times that forced said rapper to work for (**gasp**) minimum wage!!

If a popular MC decided to dedicate his next album to rhyming at length about his first job, chances are that that popular MC wouldn’t be all that popular afterward. To save them the trouble — and, what with today being “Labor Day” and all — this month’s Fun Facts will reveal what a number of hip hop stars did before they became famous. Hopefully, it won’t cause you to look at any of these artists as being less “real” (not that all of ‘em were “real” to begin with).

1. Snoop Dogg’s first job was as a grocery bagger at Lucky, a now-defunct Los Angeles supermarket chain.

2. Just as Outkast member Andre 3000 claimed to have done after dropping out of high school (in “Git Up Git Out” off Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik), Organized Noize’s Rico Wade worked at an Atlanta loading dock at age 9.

3. Jay-Z claims to have never held an actual job prior to getting into the drug game, thus dispelling an internet rumor that he worked at Kentucky Fried Chicken as a teenager. This rumor started years after it was mentioned in a “What if…” article in Rap Pages Blaze.

4. Notorious B.I.G. used to be a delivery-man for UPS. His well-known “Don’t be mad, UPS is hiring” lyric (from the “Flava In Ya Ear” remix) was actually intended to spread the word to the public that his former position with the company had opened up, and was not meant to be an insult.

5. Memphis Bleek turned down a lucrative career in hat modeling to sign with Roc-A-Fella. (The above picture serves as a reminder as to why Bleek is so rarely seen not wearing something on his head.)

6. Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith met while working at a Long Island-area Dunkin’ Donuts. Their loyal customers affectionately dubbed them “E.P.M.D.” — Erick and Parrish Make the Donuts.

7. Mellow Man Ace and Cypress Hill’s Sen Dog taught English to Spanish-speaking immigrants until they were both fired for casually combining the two languages in class, thoroughly confusing their students.

8. The mid-’90s bad blood between the many rappers employing a “fast rap” style (including Three Six Mafia and Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony) actually stemmed from them all training to become auctioneers at the same school.

9. Trick Daddy used to work as a magician at kids’ birthday parties. He was able to make his change in careers without changing his stage name.

10. Paul Wall used to work at a Barbeques Galore. He occasionally has memory lapses as to what kind of “grills” he sells, and once tried to sell Mike Jones a mesquite wood chip shaped like a row of teeth for $50,000. (Jones bought it.)

Since Jay-Z and Nas have put their differences aside, there are plenty of questions that remain unanswered as to certain lyrics spit in “Takeover” and “Ether”, their respective diss records. So, each of the 10 facts below will revolve around a lyric — 5 from “Takeover”, 5 from “Ether” — and provide a context of what these New York legends really meant, and make clarifications as necessary.

(The same Fun Facts! rules as always apply — in other words, everything beyond #3 is utter bullshit. Enjoy!)

1. Jay: “I showed you your first tec on tour with Large Professor…” — Jay and Nas were doing a show together at some small New York venue early in their respective careers, back when Jay was running with Jaz, and Nas (then primarily known for his “Live At The BBQ” verse) was running with Extra P. The crowd was apparently getting rowdy, so Jay came out on stage with a burner to quiet things down.

2. Nas: “Smilin’ in my face, love to break bread with the God…” — Nas was supposed to be in Jay’s video for “Dead Presidents” in the “playing Monopoly with real money” closing scene, along with AZ and Notorious B.I.G., but apparently no-showed. Check the video at 3:22 –- that empty seat across the table from Jay was meant for Nas.

3. Jay: “And you ain’t get a coin, n***a, you was getting fucked then/ I know who I paid, god, Serchlite Publishing…” — Contrary to what Jay may have thought, former 3rd Bass frontman and current sell-out MC Serch, the namesake of Serchlite Publishing, has claimed that Nas was compensated for every time that a sample of his voice was cleared (including the few samples used by Jay).

4. Nas: “Compared to beans, you’re wack…” –- Nas is widely known throughout the music industry as not being a big fan of beans. Baked, refried, pinto — makes no difference. In fact, when beans were served as a side dish at a catered record release party for I Am…, Nas’s ensuing tirade apparently led to some Sony employees being given pink slips. Though many took this lyric to mean that Nas thought Roc-A-Fella cohort Beanie Sigel was a better MC than Jay, it was really meant to imply that Nas would rather eat his least favorite food than listen to Jay rap.

5. Jay: “Your bodyguard’s ‘Oochie Wally’ verse was better than yours/ Matter of fact, you had the worst flow on the whole fuckin’ song…” –- When asked what Nas’s “Oochie Wally” verse was lacking that Bravehearts’ member (and, apparently, Nas’s bodyguard) Horse’s verse was not lacking, Jay said that he was especially fond of Horse’s blatant jacking of old Biggie lyrics.

6. Nas: “Foxy got you hot ‘cause you kept your face in her puss…” –- This is in reference to an incident at Foxy’s house, where her cat, Uncle Snuggles, scratched Jay in the face.

7. Jay: “Switch up ya flow, ya shit is gah-bage…” –- It is an unwritten rule in rap battles that you cannot use the same descriptive term toward your opponent twice in the same verse. Since Jay had spit earlier in his verse that Nas had “a spark when [he] started but now [he’s] just garbage”, Jay had to intentionally mispronounce “garbage” the second time, or else face ten lashes each from Rakim, LL Cool J and Kool Moe Doe.

8. Nas: “You think you getting girls now because of your looks?/ Negro please…” –- Close friends of Jay have said that this lyric hurt Jay the most, because he really did believe that he was getting girls because of his looks.

9. Jay: “Two of them shits was doo, one was ehhh, the other was illmatic/ That’s a one-hot-album-every-10-year average…” –- In Jay’s opinion, Nas’ “one hot album” was It Was Written. Jay was simply using “illmatic” as an adjective to describe that album. Jay has stated that it was by mere coincidence, and he didn’t even know that Nas also had an album titled Illmatic.

10. Nas: “Just Hawaiian shirts, hangin’ with little Chase…” –- Chester “Lil’ Chase” Weinstein (pictured above) was the largest distributor of Hawaiian shirts in the greater New York area in the late ’80s. He is currently serving 2-1/2 years in a federal prison for laundering money for the Black Mafia Family.

1. Madlib conceived and recorded Quasimoto’s The Unseen during a week-long psilocybin binge.*

2. 2Pac began his career as a roadie and back-up dancer for Digital Underground.

3. While a member of Cash Money Records, Young Buck helped secure cars for Juvenile’s “Ha” video.

4. Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth’s last reunion attempt came to a bitter end after an intense argument over immigration reform.

5. 3% of Miami’s illegal drug market is run out of Rick Ross’s beard.

6. Plies suffers from Voice Immodulation Syndrome.

7. Redman has been scientifically proven to be the Moby Dick of dopeness.*

8. Strong Arm Steady, besides being the name of a rap group, is also the title of a series of successful masturbation-themed pornography tapes.*

9. Diddy does not actually use ProActiv, but he won’t deny that Shyne uses it.

10. In a deleted scene from the upcoming film The Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne (played by Christian Bale), when asked if he is in fact Batman, replies, “I’m not a Batman — I’m a bat, MAAAN!”

* – #1, #7 and #8 were contributed by AaronM.

If you didn’t think that introduction was funny, I can’t say I blame you… but keep reading, it gets better.

1. Cypress Hill was banned from performing on Saturday Night Live after DJ Muggs lit up some marijuana on stage and the group smashed their equipment.

2. Ab-Liva, of Re-Up Gang Records (The Clipse) fame, ghostwrote Dr. Dre’s verse on Jay-Z’s “The Watcher, Pt. 2″.

3. Outkast’s 4th LP, Stankonia, was originally titled Sandbox.

4. Despite his objections, Interscope Records refused to release pictures of Polow Da Don’s dick to female journalists as a promotional item for Rich Boy’s “Throw Some D’s” single.

5. Flipmode Squad member Rampage appeared on the cover of his debut LP, Scout’s Honor… By Way Of Blood, in a full-body condom in order to promote abstinence.*

6. No Limit rapper C-Murder was originally known as A-Murder, but two subsequent copyright lawsuits forced him to move two letters down.*

7. 90% of the rappers on Nas’ “Where Are They Now?” have asked themselves the exact same question.

8. When visiting Amish country, DipSet member Freeky Zekey is referred to by his common name, Freekiel Ezekiel.

9. A 16-year-old was left permanently paralyzed after trying to roll a blunt to Jay-Z’s “Excuse Me Miss”.

10. Don Imus is a big Project Pat fan.

* – #5 and #6 were written by fellow ML contributor AaronM. If you (yes, YOU!) would like to contribute to future Fun Facts posts, hit me up at buhizzle at metallungies period c*o*m [Dj01 note: edited the e-mail to protect ya e-mail box from the spambots!] with your ideas — I’ll accept both facts and “facts”, if you catch my drift. You don’t even need to be a blogger! (But, if you are, we’ll link to your blog as a showing of our appreciation.)

1. On “Stick 2 The Script” (off The Dynasty Roc La Familia), Jay-Z’s line “We gon’ run the streets/’til we reach Malik” is in reference to former NBA player Malik Sealy, who was killed by a drunk driver in 2000.

2. MF Grimm was arrested en route to a studio where he would have recorded a verse for Main Source’s “Live At The BBQ”.

3. T.I. shortened his rap name from “T.I.P.” out of respect for his at-the-time Arista Records labelmate, Q-Tip.

4. In exchange for being allowed into Junior M.A.F.I.A., Lil’ Cease had to let Biggie’s girlfriends beat him at Nintendo.

5. “Hell Date” was the original title of a failed “Flavor of Love”-type reality show pilot starring DipSet member Hell Rell.

6. If everyone in hip-hop who claimed to be 5-percenters really were 5-percenters, they’d be more accurately described as 92-percenters.

7. Having “Lil’”, “Young” or “Yung” in your rap name entitles you to a “Kids Eat Free” card.

8. Former Three-Six Mafia member Crunchy Black’s favorite type of peanut butter is, oddly enough, smooth.

9. The Roc-A-Fella break-up was actually not intended — Jay-Z just misheard Damon Dash, who was, as usual, talking really fast.

10. Snoop Dogg quit smoking weed three times in the time it took you to read this post.

1. Before the RZA brought together the Wu-Tang Clan, Raekwon and Ghostface were enemies.

2. Christopher Wallace took on the rap name “The Notorious B.I.G.” after the rap name “Biggie Smalls” was already taken… by a white dude.

3. Likwit Crew member Defari has a master’s degree from Columbia University.

4. Cam’ron’s role of “Flea” in Killa Season was originally written with Samuel L. Jackson in mind.

5. After one day misplacing his rhyme notebook in the studio, Young Dro began writing lyrics on T.I.’s old grocery lists.

6. Lil’ Wayne’s toxicology report following a recent arrest has doubled as the FDA’s most up-to-date list of banned substances.

7. T-Pain’s recording of “I’m In Luv With A Stripper” was the fifth step in an intensive, 12-step stripper-rehab program.

8. Fabolous began to seriously pursue a rap career after an embarrassing spelling bee defeat.

9. Memphis Bleek is actually two hits away.

10. Prodigy of Mobb Deep came up with the idea of posting “First!” in blog comment sections.

Okay, so it’s April Fools Day, and you may have been duped once before. Clearly, not all of the above were true… but, I’m hoping at least every one beyond the first three were funny.

Hopefully some of our readers out there are fans of Dave Letterman (and, if not, hopefully none are fans of Jay Leno). Dave does a bit once a week called “Fun Facts” where he reads off a list of bits of information from the fictional “FBMI” (Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous Information). Dave introduces the bits of info as “facts”, and the first three are always indeed facts — insightful, interesting, perhaps thought-provoking. Then, the rest are so blatantly false that the fact they are presented straight-faced and as facts is ridiculously hilarious (well, to me, at least).

Nas said “no idea’s original, nothing’s new under the sun, it’s never what you do but how it’s done.” Hopefully this was done well, and worth more posts in the future. Happy April Fools, and don’t look now, but there’s a spider on your shoulder.