Metal Lungies

Its 40 mins before the show and here it goes. My predicted……not necessarily hopeful, winners for the awards that have no bearing on the music I listen to.

RECORD OF THE YEAR- Mary J Blige (Be Without You)

It’ll be no suprise to any of us. I mean shit was on the radio for like 300 weeks right? She will cry in her acceptance speech. Dr. Dre will be thanked.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR- Dixie Chicks (Taking the Long Way)

It will happen and it will be the most political (yet still southern girl next door) acceptance speech you have ever heard. Dr. Dre may not be thanked.

SONG OF THE YEAR- James Blunt (You’re Beautiful)

I hated this one and I really think Corinne Bailey Ray should win this one. But she won’t. Standard acceptance speech. Timbaland may be shouted out (just a feeling).

BEST NEW ARTIST- Corinne Bailey Ray

She’ll get it, she deserves it, but all the non-VH1 Soul viewers will wonder who the hell she is. Bjork will be thanked.

BEST FEMALE R&B VOCAL PERFORMANCE- MJB (Be Without You)

She held that note on the end for a while. Mary got this shit. I mean come on its not like “Ring The Alarm” was the best vocal performance. India Arie will be shouted out.

BEST R&B ALBUM- Prince (3121)

Its tough competition, but Prince will take this one. The words Peace and Love will be mentioned in his acceptance speech. His outfit will be outrageous. God will be thanked.

BEST POP PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP WITH VOCAL- Death Cab For Cutie (I Will Follow You Into the Dark)

Indie heads will go crazy for this and then angry. Soon their fans will be split up by new fans, and those who “liked them before they got big.” Fall Out Boy all over again. Random Indie Execs will be thanked.

BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM- James Blunt (Back To Bedlam)

A crime will be committed twice tonight. The crime? Giving James Blunt an award. No one should be thanked.

BEST ROCK ALBUM- Red Hot Chilli Peppers (Stadium Arcadium)

I thought the album was kinda weak. But Neil Young has enough acclaim. George Clinton will be thanked.

BEST ROCK PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP WITH VOCAL- The Fray (How to Save a Life)

Another one of those songs that was on the radio for 10,000 weeks. ________ from marketing will be thanked.

BEST ROCK SOLO VOCAL PERFORMANCE- I Have NO IDEA!

It will either be Tom Petty or Neil Young. The winner will be decided by MORTAL KOMBAT! Shao Khan will be thanked.

BEST RAP SOLO PERFORMANCE- T.I. (What You Know)

Its not like Mos Def or Lupe Fiasco is gonna win. God and Dj Drama will be shouted out. One member of his crew will be wearing this.

BEST RAP/SUNG COLLABORATION- Justin Timberlake ft. T.I. (My Love)

All the rest of the nominees are club bangers, sex manuals, or Jay-Z features. Plus… this shit was hot. Timberland will be thanked and may even take the mic.

All the Country Awards will be taken by the Dixie Chicks (Political Move) and maybe one will go to Bon Jovi (who sings country now?).

Hell do I know about gospel?

Its starting soon. Lets see how I do…

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