Want to celebrate John Daly’s triumphant return to Golf relevancy (something I know nothing about) rocking zubaz-looking pants at the British Open this week? More importantly enjoy a nice summer beverage? Well let me introduce an original drink creation from the ML bar.

Take some…

and mix it with..

You can call that joint ‘The John Daly’.

You’re welcome. and drink responsibly.

Diddy/Ciroc, cut the check or send a case!

I’ve dominated games defensively, and sometimes people don’t see it. It’s like that Chinese death blow hit. You don’t feel until it’s in you, and five seconds later, you kind of die. I forget the name of it, but it’s a death blow.

-Ron Artest

Metal Lungies, the best place for hip-hop and peripheral Ron Artest coverage

The other night, Ron Artest took an unnecessary three when it would have made much more sense to wait down the shot clock. Fans booed, but a moment later, an unfazed Artest charged to the basket and hit a game winning shot at the buzzer. In the post game interview (below), Craig Sager asks as nicely as he can why Artest took the three when the Lakers had a three point lead. During his largely incoherent response, Ron responds with what I hope will become a maxim for our generation: “You gotta play basketball.” Yes Ron, you do play basketball.

Queensbridge in the building.

An interview Just Blaze and a response from eskay of Nah Right have prompted a discussion about hip-hop blogs and unauthorized leaks. Rather than reiterating what’s already been said, I’d like to put one point under the magnifying glass.

Toward the end of the clip, Just Blaze says that bloggers are largely concerned with making a name for themselves by getting a song out first and that Nah Right is the only blog that has successfully monetized its success and created a brand. I can’t speak to how much money anyone is making, but there are many hip-hop blogs with very strong brands. Nah Right and Rap Radar function as news wires that do a great job of telling you what’s going on in hip-hop at this very second, but sites like Fake Shore Drive, Dirty Glove Bastard, BLVD ST, SpineMagazine, Unkut, The Smoking Section, and T.R.O.Y. have defined themselves with distinct writing styles and tastes or by specializing in specific regions and subgenres. Sites like these have stronger identities than blogs that drop an exclusive every few weeks.

Unless you can do it consistently, dropping an exclusive is an overrated experience. Once, when we had an exclusive Wale track, we got linked everywhere, but it didn’t turn into a massive spike in traffic and I didn’t get a sandwich named after me or anything. One of the so-called “major” blogs didn’t even link to us. Just this week we had an exclusive Mark Ronson x Ghostface track, which is crack btw, but few sites picked it up, probably because they were all watching the new Drake video. But a lot of people did tell me how much like liked the song. The point I’m trying to make is that you shouldn’t be after recognition for posting a song first, you should be after recognition for your taste in music. The best dap I ever got was when someone commented on the Kanye Beat Drop that they liked my taste in beats. If there’s one thing missing from hip-hop blogs, it’s taste.

Remember, we write about this ignorant ass music because we love it and it keeps us from going postal when that girl we’ve been obsessing over doesn’t return our Facebook messages. (you better poke me back, bitch)

As you can guess as soon as you saw the title, I can’t get enough of this stuff. ABC News was able to dig up Merton for an interview. If you are too lazy to watch the two key facts you need to know is the next video is coming out in a few days, and video #1 is the highest rated youtube of all time. Now, stop being lazy and get edumacated about this meme.

You may remember last week I posted the Chat Roullete Piano Improv video? Well, a lot of the internets theorists were saying that Merton in the video was Ben Folds. It’ wasn’t, but all of this buzz didn’t go unnoticed by Mr. Folds, who decided to perform a hilarious tribute/rendition of the Chat Roullete Improv Piano thing live during a concert in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Be sure to watch it through.

In late December I found out about a little site called ChatRoulette, a site which pairs you with random strangers in the world that have video cameras and have nothing better to do with their lives than talk to strangers (if you didn’t know this you might live under a rock, age can’t be an excuse because old dudes stay posted up on CR). I wish I documented all of my interactions on there, I’ve had Frat Brahs curse me out for a few minutes to talking to Mainland China residents (who were wearing heavy winter coats indoors) about Yao Ming. I’m still trying to convince KnobbzXL to give it a whirl, I think it would transform his life. Anyways, this video is one of the most hilarious things I’ve seen in a bit. It’s some guy serenading random people on the piano, and doing it with amazing wit. I had to play it back a few times (I mean you guys probably don’t remember when I wrote a full paragraph about something, right?!). I hope more videos come out soon.

After the jump I’ve added a few things CR related that I’ve come across over the past few months you might have missed.

[Read more]

OK so let’s talk about Robot Unicorn Attack.

I got a link from my friend last night who just told me, “play it. beautiful music.”

I didn’t follow the link right away because I was reading a book. I know, I’m lame. But tonight, I noticed two of my roommates were playing this flash game with extreme interest.

Simply put, Robot Unicorn Attack is the next big thing.

In the game, you play as a robot unicorn who jumps over floating pink cliffs, collects rainbow butterflies, and avoids giant metallic stars.You have three tries or “wishes” to go as far as you can. The further you go and the more rainbow butterflies you get, the higher your score.

While all of this is happening, “Always” by the British synthpop duo Erasure loops in the background. This really sets the tone and defines the game’s character. The endless chorus of “Always, I wanna be with you / And make believe with you / And live in harmony, / harmony oh love” while you’re jumping around as a rainbow-shooting robot unicorn (did I mention the rainbows?) is pretty mesmerizing. Half of the discussion about this game is about the music.

Then there are the dolphins. Yes, dolphins. Conversations like this are happening between college kids right now.

Guy 1: Have you gotten to the dolphins yet?
Guy 2: No?
Guy 1: Man up.

The dolphins appear every time you get 5,000 points. Some people have been trying to figure out what the dolphins do, but as one user on the Adult Swim discussion board put it, “they don’t mean anything, just that you are awesome.”

So just to recap: unicorns, stars, butterflies, and dolphins. And everything is pink and baby blue and sparkling all over.

OK. The presentation is stellar and the gameplay is addicting, but what is it about Robot Unicorn Attack that’s eliciting this kind of response from people? The game has been played 1.6 million times and there are endless comments about how “amazing” and “incredible” it is. One person wrote on Facebook, “Robot Unicorn Attack completed my life. Ive never played a game so simple yet so amazing. Everything is so rainbow its great. Live on Robot Unicorn Attack!” Something about this game has struck a cord with young Americans right now.

There’s a layer of darkness underneath the game’s cheery exterior. Before you start, you get messages like “A fiery death awaits you” and “Persistence is futile.” When you lose, the unicorn explodes and you see its severed head with wires sticking out and tears streaming down its cheek.

Maybe there was a unicron on some girl’s binder in second grade. A cute girl. A lost love, perhaps. A robot is an emotionless husk that doesn’t dare to feel or think for itself. Meanwhile, there are butterflies and rainbows everywhere and a voice sings, “Am I here in vain? / Hold on to the night / There will be no shame.”

Put all of that together, and you’ve got the mind frame of the 21 year old who is about to graduate from college into this bleak economy.

Robot Unicron Attack is the “Smells Like Teen Spirit” of my generation. Play it. Feel it.

Aziz Ansari AKA RAAAAAANDY was hard at work on a mixtape with Dave Sitek of TV on the Radio, but they will not meet the original release date. The reason? Bitch ass rappers aren’t sending in their verses. RAAAAAAAANDY names names in this scathing diss. Think “How To Rob” 2010, but with verses.

Download: RAAAAAAAANDY – AAAAAAAANGRY

Update: Here’s the final version of the song. The last version was a rough cut that Kanye leaked early.

Download: RAAAAAAAANDY – AAAAAAAANGRY

via Nah Right

To continue our recent spree of hip-hop related commercials (every time we post one of these, someone sends us a suitcase full of cash), here’s Black Milk’s surprising placement in a state-sponsored ad for Michigan products. At 0:22, he says “Fresh Milk!”

The ad does a much better job of promoting Michigan as a travel destination than say, Hex Murda.

via The Smoking Section