Metal Lungies

(Image courtesy of The Smoking Gun and the other sites emphatically tagged over the pic)

So, has this whole ordeal about Rick Ross being a C.O. in his former life — you know, back when he was mere mortal William Roberts and not “the biggest bawse that you’ve thus far” — boiled over yet? Yes? No? Either way, before most major label rappers sign their multi-million dollar contracts, chances are that there were less glamorous times that forced said rapper to work for (**gasp**) minimum wage!!

If a popular MC decided to dedicate his next album to rhyming at length about his first job, chances are that that popular MC wouldn’t be all that popular afterward. To save them the trouble — and, what with today being “Labor Day” and all — this month’s Fun Facts will reveal what a number of hip hop stars did before they became famous. Hopefully, it won’t cause you to look at any of these artists as being less “real” (not that all of ’em were “real” to begin with).

1. Snoop Dogg’s first job was as a grocery bagger at Lucky, a now-defunct Los Angeles supermarket chain.

2. Just as Outkast member Andre 3000 claimed to have done after dropping out of high school (in “Git Up Git Out” off Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik), Organized Noize’s Rico Wade worked at an Atlanta loading dock at age 9.

3. Jay-Z claims to have never held an actual job prior to getting into the drug game, thus dispelling an internet rumor that he worked at Kentucky Fried Chicken as a teenager. This rumor started years after it was mentioned in a “What if…” article in Rap Pages Blaze.

4. Notorious B.I.G. used to be a delivery-man for UPS. His well-known “Don’t be mad, UPS is hiring” lyric (from the “Flava In Ya Ear” remix) was actually intended to spread the word to the public that his former position with the company had opened up, and was not meant to be an insult.

5. Memphis Bleek turned down a lucrative career in hat modeling to sign with Roc-A-Fella. (The above picture serves as a reminder as to why Bleek is so rarely seen not wearing something on his head.)

6. Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith met while working at a Long Island-area Dunkin’ Donuts. Their loyal customers affectionately dubbed them “E.P.M.D.” — Erick and Parrish Make the Donuts.

7. Mellow Man Ace and Cypress Hill’s Sen Dog taught English to Spanish-speaking immigrants until they were both fired for casually combining the two languages in class, thoroughly confusing their students.

8. The mid-’90s bad blood between the many rappers employing a “fast rap” style (including Three Six Mafia and Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony) actually stemmed from them all training to become auctioneers at the same school.

9. Trick Daddy used to work as a magician at kids’ birthday parties. He was able to make his change in careers without changing his stage name.

10. Paul Wall used to work at a Barbeques Galore. He occasionally has memory lapses as to what kind of “grills” he sells, and once tried to sell Mike Jones a mesquite wood chip shaped like a row of teeth for $50,000. (Jones bought it.)

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