Metal Lungies

Note: This guide not comprehensive. Far from it, in fact. Rather, this is a guide based on my experiences living and working in New York City. I’m sure you can find much more scientific studies of New York’s falafel scene, but I hope that my insight can be of some value to falafel lovers in my city.

Why now?

In both of my most recent interviews, I somehow came across the topic of falafel and elicited very strong responses. When I brought up falafel with Daedelus, he said, “DUDE!” and he made me promise to send him my NYC falafel picks (the genesis of this post). When I suggested falafel to Yelawolf as an alternative to the No. 5 at McDonald’s that made him sick, his face lit up. “Hell yeah,” he said. “I love falafels.”

Despite its ubiquity, falafel gets people excited. A co-worker once told me after a long hectic morning, “Dude, I can’t wait to get my falafel for lunch. It’s going to taste SO good.” No one says that about their turkey sandwich.

The O.G.

The go-to NY falafel joint is Mamoun’s. It’s a tiny place where you can get a falafel in under five minutes even when there are ten people in line. There are two locations, one on MacDougal Street (119 MacDougal St.) and one on St. Marks (22 St. Marks Pl) and they’re always open. If you go to either location on Friday night, you’re almost guaranteed to witness a drunken fight or maybe even Spider-Man. Both locations also neighbor great pizza places, so technically you can get a falafel and a slice of pizza at the same time for less than five dollars.

Mamoun’s is an institution, straight up. Unfortunately, its quality has wavered in my time. The lettuce isn’t so fresh and the pita is thin and sad. Go to Mamoun’s for the color and the nostalgia, but after you’ve paid your dues, it’s time to look at some more advanced falafel options.

Green

Maoz is a trendy vegetarian chain that popped up a few years ago that has a decent falafel. The main draw here is the unlimited salad bar. It’s great because you can heap broccoli and coleslaw on your sandwich, eat it, and then come back for more. But this causes some problems. After my second or third go at the salad bar, my pita is cold and soggy from all the coleslaw and I haven’t even eaten the falafel. Also, you get a bunch of people crowding the salad bar trying to throw more cucumber on their sandwich.

Don’t delude yourself into thinking you’re eating healthy because it’s a veggie place. Remember, this is falafel. Maoz is hardly the streamlined experience of Mamoun’s, but if you have some time, grab a falafel, some Belgian fries and eat coleslaw until you can’t move.

Guilty Pleasure

New York’s falafel carts are a different game. The cart on 53rd and 6th is the “famous” one, but that mythos only really pertains to chicken over rice. If you care about authenticity, do some research first. The real 53rd and 6th cart is on a different side of the street depending on what time you go and there’s an impostor who camps out across the street. Competition among these guys is fierce, there’s even a Halal Mafia.

I’m partial to the halal carts in Union Square where I get falafel over rice. Don’t do the pita and always ask if you can get an extra falafel ball. Caution: do not get this if you have to do any physical exertion within 24 hours. You’ll be filled with shame from the first bite. It’s extremely greasy and they smother it in tahini. You will need a shower after you eat one of these. I only get halal cart falafel once every two months just to give my arteries a thrill.

Bootleg

You know those days when they close off six blocks of Broadway below Union Square for a street fair and there’s a guy yelling “Gyro! Gyro! Gyro! Ice cold drink!” Don’t be fooled by his sales pitch. These kebab peddlers are trying to stick tourists with over-priced falafel. This falafel is for people who eat ethnic food so they can pretend they’re cultured.

But no lie, these guys sometimes actually sling some great falafel. When I was young and naive, I got a falafel from one of these dudes. He hooked me up with a fat ass pita and he stuck some fries in there. I looked at him like “You serious?” but it turned out dope. Feel free to experiment, but when it comes to street fair falafel, buyer beware.

Premium

Behold Meze Grill (934 8th Ave), my favorite falafel spot in New York. It’s been called the Middle Eastern Chipotle for good reason. Meze hooks you up proper with a giant box customized with your choice of falafel accouterments. The falafel balls almost as big as tennis balls. It’s the clean cut alternative to your grimy loc’d out falafel spot. My only bad experience here was one day when I hauled ass all the way from 6th ave and it was 80 degrees outside and when I got there they were out of falafel. But we have to forgive and forget.

Anytime I’m in midtown, I get a huge falafel platter with tahini, humus, pickles, and rice. Then I turn off my phone, and eat it over the course of an hour. If I eat there four more times, I get one for free. I kind of want it right now.

DIY

Seriously. Go to Trader Joe’s or Food Emporium, get rice pilaf, falafel balls, and whatever else gets you hot, download some tunes from Metal Lungies, and just get busy. It’s 2010, we have the technology. Falafel is supposed to be cheap and easy, but some effort on your part can make your falafel even more satisfying.

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