Metal Lungies

So a deadly of combination of Association basketball (don’t worry TNT is on in the background, if someone gets nutted in the eye ill see it) and computer crashes meant that an update by yours truly has been a while coming…so here we go with the only thing you need on the internets!

So the aforementioned NBA playoffs are in full effect and I think its time I come out with my predictions/rambles of this round….

He cant be 100% white?!?!?

In the semifinal series that is going to be probably the more interesting of the 2 in the east (Thanks Shaq!) due to some brawl you might have seen 89743924 replays off on various media outlets that involved Ron Artest, you’d think this series will have some violent shit popping off. I don’t think it will, instead I think as shown tonight with Jeff Foster going the fuck off (on the court) the Pacers will prevail in the end with some clutch shooting from Reggie. The thing about the Pistons is while they are very deep, and they are shooting the 3 way too much when they don’t need too… and Ben Wallace’s FT shooting? Why doesn’t he get the same heat as Shaq? Why doesn’t the CL come with a clutch? Also the antics of that lovable Stephen Jackson simply need to last as long as possible, he is probably one of the gulliest players in the league hands down…. case and point….

Stephen Jackson=Preparing to clap (his hands)?
gully.

I still can’t believe B-Hay was robbed of the defensive player of the year award.

Now the other Eastern Conference series is the Wizroids Vs. Miami Heat, now the Wiz are down 2-0 in the series and since they aren’t playing the Chi Bulls there is no reason for optimism. The only healthy big men left are Michael Ruffin and Brend(a/on) Haywood (aka B-Hay), they are desperate enough that the players almost tried to bring back an up and coming team cancer, Kwame Brown. Shit is looking very dire but considering they made the 2nd round is pretty damn incredible. Actually the Wiz have a chance… if Shaq loses a limb. Oh yea, Wade too.

It must be a French thing.

In the wild west the Sonics are playing the Spurs… with Ray-Ray and Radmanovic banged up, there isn’t much to say other than “series over”. Le Francis Basketball revolution lives to see another round.

I don’t think he is thinking about handing hugs out.

In the 2nd series of the West its the Mavs vs. Suns, now this is probably the best match up in the whole playoffs the uber-high flying Suns against the more defensive but still high-flying Dallas Mavericks. I think this series will pretty much result in high scoring shoot-outs all the way to game 7. Two days ago I would’ve picked the Mavs.. this was before Dampier and Nowitzki had some sissy fight in the media and Avery Johnson fell on his ass during a game (See picture dummy).

On non-playoff NBA news, was Charles Barkley and his airness bumping and grinding in a Las Vegas club to a Beyonce track??? Looks like it to me. 😮

In some other sports news ish famous Red Neck/Baseball player John Rocker said he wants a clean start as a pitcher, and today he goes on to compare himself to Jackie Robinson and Hank Aaron. I hope the White power alliance doesn’t revoke his membership. But on a serious note how the hell are you gonna compare racist/ignorant behavior that landed you in the place you are in to 2 pioneers who were put with treatment they didn’t deserve at all what so ever? Is he frustrated that he has an ERA over 15 in some beer baseball league? boo hoo…. I hope this guy and his newly grown mullet disappear soon.

NO HOMO!!!!!!
A sports crazyness wrapup wouldn’t be the same without that NFL wackiness..ladies and gentleman Onterrio Smith of the Vikings was caught with:

A search of a bag Smith was carrying April 21 turned up several vials of dried urine and a device called “The Original Whizzinator,” which includes a fake penis, bladder and athletic supporter.

He claims he was taking it to give to his Cousin.. Cheap bastard can’t even provide the joys of the Whizzinator for the whole Smith family.

Mr Dunn might not but I APPRECIATE THE CUTE XMAS OUTFITS.

Looks like after a law passed in Texas shaking the goods yo mama gave you as cheerleader is illegal (aka teh police).

He complained of cheerleaders “shaking their behinds, breaking it down,” but the proposal does not define what constitutes suggestive cheering.

What about pyramids? If that shit is outlawed all perverted bottom of the pyramid participant cheerleaders and myself will riot. I guess the house of representative is homo in Texas.

Based on this footage, I’m surprised Mike Tyson didn’t kill anyone in the ring from his punches.

In some other fucked up news in case you haven’t heard Chappelle’s Show season 3 is on hold indefinitely and rumors of swirling. Everything from extensive partying to excessive drug use, to creative clashes are being held as the reason behind all this bullshit, well he is fucking rich bitch! I seriously hope shit comes back in top form soon because it is my favorite show bar-non. Oh yea I bet all those fucking bandwagoners yelling RICK JAMES BITCH!! YEAHHHH!!!! at him probably contributed, fucking crackers! I mean even some politician named Rick James is bitching at Chappelle for having his campaign signs being stolen.

Fish check 1,2,1,2 Fish check 1,2,1,2

Tom Green is dropping a rap album. The sad thing is I will prolly cop it cuz he is top 5 dead or alive (of Canadian rappers) YESSSS SURRRRRRR.

How the mighty have fallen….from being at the throne of the Roc empire to having artist like MOP and Camron running from you like you are contaminated. Dame Dash and his “Music Group” is getting dropped by Universal, the “music group” being a 2 man roster consisting of an incarcerated man and a dead man.
Speaking of Camron, Jim Jones now holds a fucking executive position…seriously who needs college?

Shit isn’t much better for another fallen rap “mogul”, Master P…dude cant even get on an R&B album no mo’. ughhhhhhh. Plus, there is no gentle C-Murder shoulder to cry on at the moment.

Now, I’ve been *cough* playing the new Common album nonstop shit is definitely at the top of my list so far 2005, and you have to cop it, preorder it, jack it, do whatever just get it. But I don’t understand wtf is going on with the cover for his mixtape, he is having a jolly good time in his outfit while the hood kids are throwing paper airplanes.. *METAL LUNGIES APPROVED*

DMX and RZA should make a callabo cut on their baby mama drama.

Yup… That’s a tattoo of a butterfly The Game got on his face…I would’ve gotten a swan myself. In an interview on allhiphop he even mentions it with some phony story to go along with it. He also tries to weasel out by saying his lyrics don’t refer to any incidents he had in DC but rather to million man march… which occurred only 10+ years ago. He also pretty much says he is tossin Mya’s ass on daily basis, which after seeing the new video doesn’t surprise me.. just a “cameo” my ass.  He also mentions he is coming out with his own toilet paper brand, cause even bloods and crips take dumps. Hate it or love it indeed.

They make such a cute couple.

For the rock portion of ML, there is a review of the new Nine Inch Nails album.. couldn’t have said better myself.

You know as always I gotta touch on what’s poppin the district.. well after drinking lots of kool-aid the metro board of governors have decided to pimp their (metro) cars.

Because you don’t see Wackarnolds ads anywhere else.

To get back on the good side of the consumer world Wendy’s is offering free frosties this weekend…The whole Metal Lungies family can now eat. Don’t forget the blessings. If that’s not up your alley cop the PopePez.

Track Down your favorite Child actors like fools from The Little Rascals here. That is if they are still alive.

PSA to parents, don’t get this clown for your child’s birthdays, though for a transsexual orgy your planning looks like he fits the bill.

I wish all suggestions could be like the ones Amazon provides.

You might have heard Laura Bush crack some jokes at some White House press cracka dinner… well this shit proves that she also has some dirty jokes…. purr…

This can be the foundation of MTV Cribs: Trailer Park edition.

This is the CD I’m gonna buy to bump in the whip, don’t hate, congratulate.

Track of the day: Freeway-Where You Been…. A Scott Storch + ?uestlove beat makes Freeway spit some bonkers shit.

everything hurts… out.

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