There will be no farting in the shoe aisle + other shit.

So first I got to drop this little story which I think many of you should enjoy.

Your favorite ML homie was shopping for some new shoes the other day at a department store. I was about to go in to this one aisle when a black man pretty much jumped right into my face. His reaction screamed “don’t go there unless you want to get robbed”. I was wrong, a 100% wrong, as what he proceeded to say has probably changed my life. He said very firmly “do not go down there…(4 sec pause, as he collected himself)…that man farted (as he pointed to some white man walking away from the other side of the aisle). I stood in shock & awe and greatfullness of this warning. As the kind warning-giving man marched past me he muttered “Nasty ass motherfucker”, and upon having his taste for new shoes spoiled bolted straight for the exit. I will tell this shit to my childeren. The End.

ok in other shit…

If you want to see the very few chances to see nudity in a CNN news article check this . Look very hard at the top left hand corner, hopefully that is a woman’s goods and not man boobs *shudder/no homo which from now on being the trend whore I am, will simply refer to as ‘nh’* I am so 10 years old.

Thanks to the nice folks at, check out the Mission Impossible III theme done by Kanyeezy w/ help for Keyisha Cole, and Twista. I’m kinda on the fence about it but it does have those Kanye drums that gave Twista a mainstream career over 2 years ago (and it also has a Michael Jackson refrence!). Anyone want to play it backwards? It probably has some scientology message they agreed to work in on that “Yvan Eht Nioj” tip (simpsons refrence yo).

and you know NHL & NBA & NFL come first but this shit tells me clearly how sad the CinciNati Reds are

“Signing Hatteberg was the key” to the deal, Krivsky said.

How can 36 year old journeyman be a key to anything? Maybe the ‘key’ to the soda machine in the clubhouse? Sad. I bet current Nats/ Ex-Reds GM Jim Bowden is laughing his ass off.

THE reason to be a DEA federale. Now that is crazy delicious. Those are probably good as a nice lunch snack.


p.s. some sick reviews + interviews coming REAL soon.

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  1. Metal Lungies » Archive » Suburban Maryland Jogging.

    [...] I really like the guys jogging outfit..shit I like hers too! After such a phenomenal response (telepathic of course, see: 0 comments to the post) to the fart in the shoe aisle story, here is another ’story’. So being the gadget whore that I am, I’ve been jogging (or “yogging” as my gf calls it because..she um prefers to make her j’s “soft”) more than usual thanks to apple’s nike+ ipod nano thing that tracks your runs and makes pretty graphs and so on, I’m sure even the grandmas at retirement communities have heard about it by now so I’m not going to explain anymore what it is (OR GOOGLE DAMMIT). So the Jog starts off normal as any other, but before I am 30 seconds into it, a car speeding by with someone sticking of the passenger window that yells “HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO“, (and reacting as if my only interaction are the rats at petsmart) I jump up and get startled mid-stride as the car passed by me (in retrospect I think it might haveve been a friend of mine driving by (I SWEAR I HAVE THEM, I HAVE PICTURES!!). Anyway I keep jogging and not a few minutes later thanks to all the wonderful forest chopping they are doing in the county I spot not one, not two but THREE deer on the fucking sidewalk. Being afraid they will triple-team me into naughty things I have to run into the road to run around them. OK that should be enough right? Nope. A few minutes later a early 90’s chevy/ford red trucks comes to a crawl and a scruffy looking man with a pony tail yells out to me if I need a ride.. (??? I wasn’t running from the police.) My elementary schools lessons of not to get into strangers cars overcomes my middle-age sketch looking male fetish, and I just ignore the man and keep running (OK I’m not gonna play it completely tough I sped a up a little). Then with all the forest chopping that’s going on to build a new road to the interstate comes some construction and the sidewalk I had to go through a bit later was really thin because there was an ass load of crews (even at 9pm!!), and I noticed there was a mid-20s couple walking senior citizen style in a single file, so I had to zig zag and almost fall into a ditch to pass them, as I passed them I heard some grumblings and simply waved in apology, they probably thought I was showing them up. So the rest of the way there weren’t much things to note. But when I got home, I dropped my strawberry-kiwi (NO Formula 50 in this house!) vitamin water in kitchen spilling all over, so i just proceeded to roll around and soak it up with my sweaty body (OK that’s a lie, I had to use a roll of bounty paper towels to clean that shit up). Oh yeah, my run was only 6 seconds off my average. So there you have it kids if you like deer, old men in pickup trucks or other shit, please come to Maryland and jog at 9pm on the streets! [...]

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