The decline in activity on Metal Lungies of late can be ascribed to the personal trials and tribulations our staff faced this year. You might not always realize it, but DJ01, Meaghatron, and I are human beings as much as we are music bloggers with cool Internet handles – and every once in a while, being told to go fuck ourselves because we didn’t like a Wiz Khalifa verse can really sting.
But that is no excuse for neglecting our duty to you, the dear reader. Instead, please find our specific excuses for neglecting our duty below.
- DJ01 told anyone who would listen at last year’s Christmas party that Metal Lungies was about to have a monster year. That spirit carried us until January 15th when he dashed out of his office to tell us Bed Bath and Beyond had dropped their plans to sponsor the Beat Drop and we would be footing the bill for 10,000 Metal Lungies non-stick cookware sets (DM me if you want one of these shits). Needless to say, DJ01 was in no mood to blog about fucking Cheez N Dope 2 or whatever for a while after that (no disrespect to Project Pat).
- Meaghatron didn’t fare much better as a design intern for Kanye West’s creative something-something DONDA. Her ambitions and portfolio fell by the wayside when she found out her job was mainly stalking Fendi and Louis Vuitton execs and trying to force on them manilla envelopes full of Kanye’s design documents. Once, while being hauled out of an office by security, one of the envelopes fell open and she saw a colored-pencil sketch of Kim Kardashian styled as Cleopatra giving birth to her and Kanye’s baby on board the Millennium Falcon. She says her three writing credits on Yeezus were little consolation.
- Me? I’m not gonna lie, I hit the bottle pretty hard when they shut down Google Reader. I would wake up, catch an episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air at 9:30, and then just start drinking. My moment of clarity came when I was at a Migos concert at The Westway and I projectile vomited onto someone (it might have been Troy Ave, I’m not sure what he looks like) partway through screaming the “Versace” hook.
I tell you all of that to tell you this: the Lungies are back like cooked crack. We have a new design that makes other rap blogs look like trash and we a have a backlog of music to share with you that would make Funkmaster Flex bomb the city back to the stone age. We promise to make updates as often as our personal lives/substance abuse problems allow.
We are, sincerely yours,
The Metal Lungies staff