Metal Lungies

We ain’t so clean cut no mo’

Sup sup ladies and gents so I was talkin to my homie Mark, and I played a random track and it was 50 Cent-Elementary and lets just say I don’t even know what to say here is the hook…

[50 Cent] The cat in the house go
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
The bird in the cage go
Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet
It’s elementary

In all seriousness download the track and listen for yourself.

In other news Pat O’Brien is a P.I.M.P/Perv/Hater/Alcoholic all jam packed into one from hollering at his wife and gf about what nice things he’d like to do to em’, to making nice comments like

A source tells us he used to refer to a gay African-American senior producerat “Access Hollywood” as “the Fruit Monkey.”
To his face.

oh but that’s not it, Pat also would be trying to holla at those access Hollywood honeys like Nancy O’Dell (shiiit i would to) and Shaun Robinson, droppin N-bombs, telling gay men he had a gift for them and told them to bend over but sadly Pat is on a self-implicated injured list, he is in “rehab” for alcohol.

Speaking of alcohol, I have found a *NEW* role model. The Wilt Chamberlain of alcohol offenses. and NO you cant have him (he locked up silly).

If your waiting for the new Joey Crack like us here at ML, wait till May 24th, the terror squad apparently is going to have to bust his (big) ass to clear samples for 2-tracks, where is the love? Joey isn’t done with 50 either tho, he makes a cute comparisons to an abused girl.

If anyone still watched SNL they would’ve seen David Spade with a penis for his nose (as he played Owen Wilson in a sketch.)

Free Whitney Houston, t-shirts are being made…rehab is like prison I tell ya!

An Update on our last update about N.E.R.D., fear not they are still gonna make music as a band…but their label still sucks.

Finally as I leave you, I wish you a happy early Easter and I pray this wont be a family activity you will have.

Out.

First thing is first, Fade to Black owns me, thank you very much, and it will own you too!
Next I highly recommend that you check out an album called Prince Po-The Slickness, now this banger came out in early 2004, when I copped it but I didnt give it a full listen till yesterday, and lets just say I was blown away.

Another coach was fired, this time it was Paul Silas, For some reason he gets no love and is the first to go when a team starts to falter, but one good thing he was able to call Carlos Boozer a cunt last week. His sneaky verbatim will be missed.

In other NBA news.. with a late pass.. Franchise kicked people, coaches got fired, and Stacey Augmon threw lotion.. I Love This Game. Oh and AI is prolly gonna be hit with a suspension (WHAT?!!?!?!?)
NOT HER SON….

In some other news, there was a shooting at a Nas concert in the UK… violence+rap=new & fun, right?

And today I came across the funniest gameshow episode ever.. The Weakest Link with JD, Xzibit, Rev Run, Young MC, Da Brat, Dj Quik, Nate Dogg, B-Real.. let just say shit is jokes and sadly cuts of a min or so early :(. For those with Hi-Tech 56k modems, read the MTV piece on it…and fill you self with envy.. nice green envy..

out.

Thanks to Syracuse, and Kansas aka half of my final four on the right side of the bracket is done, that’s just wonderful. Just when I though picking the loveable ‘Bama.

boys to go to the sweet 16 would be my worst mistake.. If Arizona & Gonzaga make it to the final four please wake me up.

SOHH had a nice round up yesterday.
P-Diddy is gonna have Talib & Common ghostwrite for him on his “last” album, I like how puffy can make it big news that he doesn’t write his own rhymes, but just writes the checks ;). And Benzino not paying his employees is priceless I mean look at that Boston gangster, does he (or even Dave Mays) look like he is the type of person to be maintaining the payroll of a (legal) business. Last but not least who knew Hittman (the guy at the end of the Forgot About Dre who goes Y’all better buy my shit *while a toilet flushes*, and was on chronic 2001) was Dj Quik’s cousin and that Snoop had a brother?? oooo weeee

late.

METALLUNGIES IS GUILTY
A cold has been trying to keep me down but it wont, I was supposed to do an update yesterday but a very sweet siesta got in the way of that.

Going with the legal theme for a bit… MR X to the Z was caught in Guam (US owned land pretty much) with a little sticky icky.. Now how the hell does this shit happen? Was his weed carrier out with a cold? Irresponsible weed possession by rappers makes me sick.

This story about percents of basketball players who graduate isn’t even at 50% on most of the teams and LSU & Minnesota had none last year?? But you can’t blame the players, its hard passing your sports coaching class.

Britney Spears gave some very valuable advice to Michael Jackson……I guess Michael Jackson’s monkey Bobo wasn’t available for advice at that time.

Following up our touching story of ex-Korn guitarist Head who was baptized a few weeks ago, took the logical next step and is now trying to save 50. This guys is defiantly on the wacky tabacky.

“It’s not a mean song, but it is like a loving father disciplining his son and telling him how it is — kind of like Tré’s dad in the movie ‘Boyz N the Hood,’ ” Welch continued. “There is really no way he can come back at me through music because it’s not from me … it’s from the Big Guy. Even 50 respects the Big Guy.”

This is might type of keg party duuude!

Now a friendly reminder to all my AIM buddies, all of our cyber-sex conversations are probably being loggged. and masturbated to.

And its March.. I still haven’t done a freaking bracket(s)… I’m having difficulty finishing this one.

and for all the Wizroid fans, I have to agree if i was Gilbert Arenas

I’d be hella pissed with dudes grabbing my junk.

I also read something very nice in the Washington post… the MPAA president buys pirated movies in Mexico!!

I have one small request for my friends that go to school with me, do you know if this

mp3 player is allowed? The product page is straight jokes.

Death of Dynasty, a Dame Dash mocumentary of the rise & fall of the ROC! seems interesting to say the least…

Game+Snoop are going tour ( I just wanted to fit in the poster pic somehow!)

Highly recommended that everyone check out the new Beck album shit is too dope!
I gotta go put away the free Robert Blake t-shirt to be replaced by the free Scott Peterson t-shirt, fair well people!. Late.

COOKED CRACK…Fat Joe probably spent a lot of studio time to actually make an album worthy diss response, I’m pretty much split on the call if it is better then Jada’s response, Joey mentioning the Vibe Awards and G-Unit running out was most def. the highlight for me which can potentially create a huge market for free Young Buck t-shirts… I kid I kid. Near the end it seems like some name is blanked out when Fat Joe goes If i don’t get you I’m gonna get (mysterious silence), let the rumors begin! Oh but you think 50s kiddie car thieves (i see you fox5) would let Jada slide, nope.. they just rode up in a tow truck and flashed some pieces, and because Jada is hood class act he wont be helping them cop any sentences. By the way me and my people are gonna be riding up in trash trucks, keep you hood & recyclables secure ya heard!
Edit: Apparently Jada is saying they were D-Block fans? which makes me really really confused.

For my law center portion of ML, you have to ask yourself how can I touch on the latest developments of the Micheal Jackson trial, shit is daily joke machine. From barring Jay Leno of making jokes of MJ so he just hires Rosanne to do that part (those sneaky Italians!). From the boy saying MJ made him drink wine which he called Jesus Juice.. well guess what thanks of this, crunk juice is officially discontinued as the drink of choice in the family we pourin that Jesus Juice freely. Lastly, I would like to say MJ showing up late to court in Pajamas couldn’t be any more hilarious, I mean this guy has a fucking roller coaster on a ranch and he cant get a suit real quick, but instead rolls up like he is gonna go lounge around at court. I wish I could pull pajamas off at my school, cause that shit will land me in being locked up with In School Suspension for sexual harassment like whoa.

Keeping going with the law related news.. well somewhat since this is apparently from 2003 but it still gold..

DEA agent shoots himself in gun safety class

A federal drug agent shot himself in the leg during a gun safety presentation to children in what police describe as an accident. His bosses, however, are still investigating the incident.

The Drug Enforcement Administration agent, whose name was not released, was speaking on April 9 to about 50 adults and students organized by the Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association, witnesses and police said.

He drew his .40-caliber duty weapon and removed the magazine, according to the police report. He then pulled back the slide and asked an audience member to look inside the gun and confirm it wasnt loaded.

Witnesses said when the agent released the slide, one shot fired into the top of his left thigh. The gun was pointed at the floor. The agent was treated at Orlando Regional Medical Center and returned to work, a DEA official said.

Oh you thought i just had the story? Man this is metal lungies we got the video to share with your family and friends.

The much promised NBA piece (I’m good on promises) (I’m also good with parenthesis)

Apparently Don Nelson is dipping out for a few games to tend to his wife who is recovering from surgery, now here at ML we have a policy that wont allow me to make light of this situation so I would just like to say because of this he wont be able to implement his genius playbook…

Oh what away stint is this? like #4 this year? Just let Avery Johnson run the team… into the ground.

Going with the sort of depressing news, sadly Antwon Jamison iron man streak came to an end at 386 games, which sucks because it was a nice fact Stuart Scott could spit out on every Wizard highlight and gave the Wiz some extra shine.

oh and
Handsome Boy Modeling School featuring Dan the Automator & Prince Paul
w/ K-Os & Rondo Brothers
SUN. APR. 17
$18.00
WILL BE DOPE!

Sidenotes: please don’t bring up those Terp chumps…fucking Clemson? come on. They haven’t had any NBA talent since Greg Buckner who some how isn’t playing on 10-day contracts yet, why can’t the Terps win a game to save their lives in Chapel Hill? Allhiphop rumors pretty much confirms what I thought- Iovine was involved in the 50/Game peace treaty. Till next time, out.

50 Beefin? No way! He too busy makin them gggggggg-unit speical editions Game Boys. Seriously if anyone over 14ish cops that, please shoot yourself thanks, because we all know g-unit be playin them Mario Kart Jumpoffs on the street corner.

and in our sports news.. I wouldn’t even hate on this now ex-cardinals football player if he was at least stealing a shiny Powerbook? Dell? tha fuck outta here.

Oh yea, here is some top secret gossip here, one of contributors, Buffalo’s favorite girl & a nice restaurant he would like.

some random eBay shit before i dip..
a bible’s collectors wet dream

and i hope the Smithsonian bought this.

RZA Interview NPR can hold it down, most def!

Afghanistan STAND UP!, hopefully hosting a mixtape soon!!

tomorrow: Mannie Fresh new video in-depth analysis.

late

Barry Bonds was doing an interview recently and had some candid words for the steriod allegations as well as words of warning for his son stating that “my son says to me, ‘aren’t you my friend?’ Hell no, I’m not your friend” he closed the chapter on his young boy with a resounding threat, “I’ll bust you up. And I mean it.” Barry Bond’s testicular diameter last measured in at 2mm.

Former Korn Guitarist turned Christian, Brian “Head” Welch, was baptized in the Jordan River today. He was the one who quit the band for God aka. Yoko Deity. The Jordan River was where Jesus was supposedly baptized by (Guess Who!?!) John the Baptist.
Djlethal note: peep his very odd website @ http://www.headtochrist.com/

Lauryn Hill and Wyclef Jean doing a concert is all well and good but WHERE THE FUCK IS PRAS!?!? We need another Fugees album now!!! And speaking of the Fugees is anybody else waiting on that Dave Chappelle Block Party DVD? Not to mention Fade to Black? Can you say Pre-Order?

Barry Bonds don’t give a fuck

Kobe is now also dishing out the Money. I only wonder how much money that white girl got for her fables? I bet she’ll pop up on cribs plantiff settlers edition.

This is where our Oscar coverage ends, deepest apologies go out to all goes to all of our 3 readers, but the amount of fake ass shit, I cannot take. To realize how bad this shit is, Chris Rock is probably my favorite comic behind Chappelle but unless he is allowed to bring a 9milly to pop off I will not be viewing… Star Jones, the Rivers Bitches, and Kathy Griffin are as much fun as STDs, but don’t cry yet, I have come through with the bits I could get so here weeee goooooo

I would most certainly tap that..(Star Jones)

This makes me sick, white bitches trying to rob Star of her ice.

Ill give this picture a pass just cause Mr. Jones is one of my fav. songs.

I’d tap this too (The dude thats blurry, nh)

TV Guide channel can only afford to employ the mentally disturbed?

She’s killing me, the region in the red turns me on soooo much.

BTW,

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BIBBY SAYS: “WE DONT NEED WEBBER TO HAVE THE WIZARDS DO A MELTDOWN??”

Well, the psycho people here at metal lungies will be providing some LIVE(!!!) Oscar coverage of shit like the red carpet and more! We haven’t even started AND ESPN.com has already sold out..

I come to ESPN for SPORTS not some fucking (Kevin Frazier) Entertainment Tonight tip-shit.