Metal Lungies

Dmx with a dog?? WHAT???

DMX just doesn’t seem able to stop in providing us with entertaining shit. When he is not acting completely cracked out for the camera, he is either going bat crazy during a concert, proudly earning some traffic violations, or claiming he was raped.

The first part of this story I came across over at nahright where X attacked the soundman because.. well he wasn’t happy with the sound. It was one of those radio sponsored smorgasbord lineups with like 232432 artists. I’m sure its easy being a soundman for those nights, have those types of shows EVER sounded good? MTV had some more on this incident, including one of X’s weed carriers injuring a concertgoer, with a chair throw..

“A member of the audience picked up a steel folding chair and threw it onstage,” Daub explained. “It was thrown back off by a member of DMX’s entourage and it struck the victim in the head.”

Yet Jim Jones, Foxy Brown, and Funkmaster Flex who were scheduled to appear, were not allowed in by security.

About a week later X was pulled over for driving an uninspected 2001 Chevy Suburban. Of course once they ran his name they saw he didn’t have a license in NY and had a suspended registration. But I might have to side with X on this one, do you really believe he was randomly pulled over? I highly doubt they had a high alert on the 5-0 radio to be on the lookout for a Chevy Suburban with an out of date inspection.. fucking racist cops. But still, a 2001 Suburban? Shit, that’s something you can’t see on cribs.

To wrap up this X news brief comes defiantly my favorite DMX story right now (maybe ever?). It comes from my personally favorite magazine, Sister 2 Sister. In it X’s wife talks about how he had a child with another woman, but she isn’t mad cause the woman raped him. Read from WWTDD via AOL Music:

Tashera Simmons — wife to rapper DMX — stands by her man as he talks openly about recently fathering a child with a Washington, D.C., woman. “She raped me,” (DMX says). “I mean, you know, that might sound like some bullshit. No man has ever been… you know what I mean, like never? Is that the only thing nahin the world that’s not possible?” Mrs. Simmons recalled an earlier encounter with the woman. “Before the stuff hit the fan, she came up to us while we were in court and said ‘I work for kids that are sickly,’ said Tashera. “So he said ‘Give her my number.’ That’s how it goes all the time. At first, I said OK. But, then I thought she looked deranged and obsessed with him.” While his wife “blocks out” the experience to cope, DMX gained a more valuable lesson: “Turn on the light before I go to sleep,” he said

In the article, the wife claims the rape was able to occur because X passed out drunk with his “package” out after filming a video, that sounds like a typical end of work day routine to me. Well they should totally make a public service announcement to prevent from a male getting rapped by a woman is to simply turn on a light before going to bed. Some people might be curious, would this work in jail? Anyway right after this issue came out, the woman rapist didn’t like that title so now she is suing for $6 mil, god I hope this shit lands on CourtTV.

Oh the woman in question is reppin’ MD just like yours truly. Sweet.

Please don’t change DMX, please.

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As you know on here were are REAL big on The Clipse *nh*. They seemed to back-peddle on their anger with their label here, but then I read this over at AAH Rumors:

CLIPSE GO HARD AT JIVE!
The Clipse have been getting rave reviews for the longest time and we haven’t even heard their album Hell Hath No Fury. Not even so much as a leak! Now, it looks like the VA boys have taken their issues with Jive Records to a new level. If you recall, Malice and Pusha said on record that they wanted to lynch the entire staff at their label. WOW. Now, they have pressed up t-shirts that say ‘F**k Jive’ on the front. The back of the shirt hurt me to my heart. “Sorry to the fans, but those crackers weren’t playing fair at Jive”. Great day in the morning! They might not know Hell Hath No Fury greater than a angry White man. (LOL) Does this mean that the album will never come out? Does this mean; they aren’t dropping ever? Say it ain’t so.

uggghhhhh.

out.

Thanks to Hot Karl, I came across two very good reads.

Thumb up for sleazy.

This article is about Joe Francis the founder of the Girls Gone Wild brand which has been teasing you with college girls on cable as long as most of you can remember. and it shows you that he is a true humanitarian. Take a look:

But the women are changing, Francis tells me, and that makes him sad. In the beginning, when “Girls Gone Wild” cameramen first popped up in clubs, the women who revealed themselves seemed innocent—surprised, even, by their own spontaneity. Now that the brand is so pervasive, the women who participate increasingly appear to be calculating exhibitionists, hoping that an appearance on a video might catapult them to Paris Hilton-like fame.

And Francis is getting a bit old for spring break. He says he’s tiring of the eternal vacation. “It’s really the worst thing, in my mind,” he says, comparing it to a trade show or a convention. “It’s fun for everybody else but me. I just get hounded by kids. It was more fun not being famous on spring break.” What’s more, the press has been omnipresent and, he says, too critical. “I’ve been anally raped over and over by the media.”

It’s an odd sort of thing for him to say. In January 2004, as news reports recounted, he was forced at gunpoint to simulate sodomizing himself with a vibrator as an intruder videotaped him in his Bel-Air mansion. A 28-year-old named Darnell Riley was arrested 14 months later, after police received a tip from Paris Hilton. Riley pleaded guilty to robbery and attempted extortion and was sentenced to 10 years and eight months. He is serving his time in Corcoran State Prison.

Yea… I think this one of the few times in life I wouldn’t feel bad about someone getting sodomized. Cry me a river, you’ve become a multi-millionaire and you want someone to feel sorry that the girls are not as ‘innocent’ as they used to be and you can’t enjoy Spring Break like you used to? Someone please start a fund to help Joe Francis out. This guy would lead a list of what is wrong with people these days, money and sex crazed, because you know that all is life is these days. I didn’t quote the type of shit Francis does on a standard day but it is a MUST read.

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This next thing Karl found is a fucking long read but well worth it. It is being made into a movie and one of the craziest true life stories I’ve heard in a while. I won’t say anything so you read the whole damn thing but, I don’t know which guy was more crazy.

The hot new teenage boy activity, being carried by old men. *NH*

***Ayo Haley Joel Osment in Hish School you were the man homie. Now you crashing your car drunk, and ‘ridin dirty’ with some weed. But the thing that upsets me is neither of the actions..it’s this:

Authorities said Osment was driving home alone about 1 a.m. when his 1995 Saturn hit a mailbox and flipped over.

Damn. A 1995 Saturn? Really? How the hell are you gonna drive that car around when you’ve done big hollywood movies? The people that catered the food on the movie sets are pushing better rides.

Keeping it moving with this Celebrity moment…

***Vanessa from MTV/TRL was dancing at some club, nothing special untill some Lil Jon comes on. Her dance is priceless.

Video Link

***and wtf is this:

No I don’t need blinders to look at this pic.

I guess Paul Wall and his Vietnam homie are branching out their operations. Damn TMZ is addicting.

***This is not really Celebrity but this is a pretty popular video I just came across of Dubya “singing” Sunday Bloody Sunday, well done I must say.

6805063692754011230

WARNING WARNING EVA LONGORIA WITHOUT MAKEUP FOLLOWS…

hot.

and yup Ron Artest is still keeping everything on point. see here:

Q: Have you talked to him, done any campaigning to get him back?

A: He called me last week. I told him if he leaves, then I’m going to kill him. Unless he wants to die, he’s got to stay (with the Kings).

umm.. Bonzi I’d Take Ron’s advice.

Source also Deadspin.

I think Borat will be movie of the year.

BONUS: Kayslay speaks on Papoose and more.

out.

Scrappy is loyal to Mrs. Cleo till his last day, word up.

So XXL posted an interview with now G-Unit homie Lil Scrappy, it is quite interesting.

my 2 highlights;

Is there anything you wouldn’t do for more money?

Yeah, I mean, I wouldn’t be no faggot. That’s about it.

So there you have it folks he will do anything for some money, cept some homo activities. Talk about self value.

&

You rhyme a lot about blaming the government on this new song “Shake My World.” Are you getting political on the new album?

Actually, I was just doing that song, so I guess somebody got their hands on it and put it out there. But I mean, I am political. Who ain’t political? Nobody likes what’s going on. But the whole thing about that song is, I was saying that we blame everything that happens to us on everybody else. In the song I’m like [sings] George Bush to blame¦For everything. Like, why? I don’t like some shit that he do, I’m a democrat all day. But at the end of the day, this dude, he a gorilla. He goin’ against these other muthafuckas and he trying to win. He trying to get that oil. But whatever he trying to get, he trying to put it over here. They tell people The Hurricane is coming. Is it his fault that you didnt leave? I don’t understand that. But I am with the people when they say Fuck George Bush because of a lot of the fucked up shit that he do.

Now I think more rappers should be aware of whats going on and political, but don’t stand up for a president if you are gonna say fuck him in the end, it doesn’t make much sense. I know very few people who think Bush was not involved in the whole Katrina fiasco, Scrappy being one of them now I guess.

speaking of say what..

All those PBS fiends will want that Master P chain. I guess it’s hard to get cred on Seaseme Street.

and then there is this..

too hot.

Also there is this guy, just for turning himself in during a live news broadcast while drinking a sprite he should be set free.

So Maurice Clarett thinks playing in some beer indoor football league will turn his career around….yea when the team has 4 players and is goining to have ‘tryouts’ sometime soon..So I wonder how much he is getting payed.

I’d try this outfit, but I’m also a perfect size to be stuffed in a hallway locker.

One of the most unique/out of this world/alternative rappers is back, Kool Keith with his alter ego Dr. Octagon..Here is the 1st part of a 8 week series to reintroduce/introduce you to the other Doc!

AS YOU MAY RECALL
… 10 years since Dr. Octagon’s groundbreaking first address to the world, “Dr. Octagonecologyst http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Octagonecologyst> “, a musical recording with a combination of lyrical alchemy and beat science powerful enough to teleport the first human listeners to rap in the year 3000.

… 7 years since Dr. Dooom murdered Dr. Octagon on the opening track to Dooom’s “First Come First Served”… Dr. Octagon’s office in the Bronx was boarded up, the nurses obliged to seek alternate means of employment. Thousands of patients in need of rectal rebuilding or removing turtles from their uteruses had to fulfill their medical needs elsewhere. The toll-free hotline 1-800-PP5-1-DOODOO and his space age cell 709 755 6EL3 were both disconnected.

BACK IN THE PRESENT
The Pop epidemic proliferates, poisoning millions. Evil forces at work, those who “water down the sound that comes from the ghetto”, continue plugging this poison directly into Earth society’s mainstream, in greater and greater doses. The casualties mount, while The National Guard United States Enterprise is helpless. The rap game, overcrowded with so-called rap super-villains, now more than ever before, could use a rap superhero.

ELSEWHERE ON PLANET EARTH…
The team at OCD International arrived for work to find a small indiscriminate package has arrived mysteriously at their doorstep. Unlabeled. How curious. Opening the box, its sole content is discovered – what seems to be a nano-size mp3 player, in purple-green casing adorned with shimmering blue flowers. An inscription, laser etched on the back reads, “Attention: Earth People. From the Labs of Dr. Octagon, Planet Jupiter”.

Could it be? THE RETURN OF DR OCTAGON!? Is this really the one & only Dr. Octagon? The folks at OCD had to get to the bottom of this. The tracks were immediately ripped off the mp3 player and then shipped for intense forensic voice identification. IT IS HIM!

But what is he saying? What is the message and why is it left with OCD? To get to the bottom of the mystery as crack team of musical experts were assembled to analyze the content of some key track and decipher the code.

First on the case was DJ Mike Relm, inventor of the Zodyak Scop System, esteemed architect of the future sound of hip hop. Mike has seen a lot of strange things in his time; it is no secret that he was once a Turntable Terrorist trafficking in supernatural sonics. He plugged into his ProTools, only to find himself possessed… By some superior force.

After an indefinite period of time, he awoke with a start, in his studio in San Francisco. He vaguely recalls visions of a 12th century turret in the old quarter of Prague, and a vile, evil creature only describable as halfsharkalligatorhalfman. Not to mention, Mike’s throbbing head. Confused and disoriented, he glanced over to his computer screen. A long, dense 20-minute waveform is displayed; the name of the file reads “Octagynaemix”. Could it be Mike’s mix unfolded during a freak forced coma brought on from post-future hypnotic soundwave embedded in the files. Or did Mike just have some bad fish.

Only he truly knows…

Mike Relm 20 minute Return of Dr Octagon megamix
http://worlds-fair.net/media/dr_octagon/The_Remix_of_Dr_Octagon.mp3

Log on next Friday for the next installment of this amazing 8 week story featuring new interpretations of Dr Octagon tracks each week by Prefuse 73, Kid Loco, Her Space Holiday, Rob Sonic, Skinny Man and more.

The Return Of Dr Octagon hits stores June 27th
http://www.thereturnofdroctagon.com
http://www.myspace.com/thereturnofdroctagon

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TOM CRUISE YOU SO FLY
….for a white scientoligist guy.

some other shit I have come across, I am really obsessed with the Aresnio Hall Clips as of late..

NWA – 100 Miles and Runnin’

Beastie Boys – So Watcha Want

Big Daddy Kane – I Get The Job Done
… this guy had the sickest dance moves of any MC, he needs a record deal right now, its been wayyyy to long.

also it looks like Mobb Deep + Jay-Z have made up, only 2313123 years late, I wonder if Curtis Jackson told them (Mobb Deep) to play nice?

Cam’s new magazine?
and we have very high expecations for his website right here.

It looks like all the stabbings/shootings/running aways might have to be done at another location as they are trying to evict Hot97

A very deep interview with my favorite MC, Talib Kweli..
Part 1 Part 2
Talks a lot about all the label bullshit.

More Ghostface, in an actual Kitchen!

I like Raja Bell but Kobe pretty much clowned him in this one. If it was me I would make some Taco Bell joke.

damn youtube is taking over this mug.
out.

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! PARIS HILTON FANS EVERYWHERE…OR ANYONE WHO REMOTELY CARES WHAT I HAVE TO SAY: PARIS HILTON HAS TRIED TO HIDE HER PLASTIC SURGERY FETISH FROM THE CELEBRITY GOSSIP WORLD!

ONE WORD; SCANDALOUS!

I’m not sure about you, but I’m a little upset that Paris Hilton has attempted to hide the fact that her face isn’t really her own. You would think by now, especially after her sex tape faux-pas, she would learn that you can’t hide anything from the public; especially from Clare Penfold.

Hilton was spotted walking into the ‘Modern Institute of Plastic Surgery & Anti Aging’ (see below) on March 11 in a horrendous yellow and red sweat-suit. She hid her face with her hood, preventing any notice of what she could’ve/did have done.

[source]

Let’s play a game called “Guess What Part of Paris is Fake.” or “Guess What Part Of Paris Hilton Isn’t Fake!” I’ll start. Maybe gravity took a toll on her nose and she had that done? Or maybe; MAYBE! Nicky told her that her ass was beginning to look like the frying pan I make my pancakes in every morning and she was in need of some more “junk in the trunk” if you will. Whatever it is, I hope that it makes her beautiful enough to steal another celebrity’s boyfriend; maybe this time she could go for Ashley Olsen’s boyfriend, Scott Sartiano. I mean what fun is it if you only have one twin’s boyfriend? Two is just DOUBLE THE FUN!

With all the media hype lately about Britney Spederline almost driving her child through a windshield and Jessica Simpson’s latest fling with newly proclaimed man-whore Judd Law, I thought we’d switch up the headlines today in celebration of Fat Tuesday. I mean, honestly, what’s better than some CLASSY; repeat after me; C-L-A-S-S-Y pictures of Linsday Lohan?

(Source)

In case you are totally clueless as to the elegance I’m referring to, note the cute dab of blood dripping from her right nostril. Maybe I’m just way behind on the new fashion trends and bloody noses are just as stylish as the new Chanel clutches Lindsay’s been sporting, but I’m guessing that Ms. Lohan’s leakage isn’t her new statement. A little too much white devil perhaps? I could be making a huge deal of something that is as simple and common as hay fever, high blood pressure, or just a case of a much needed humidifier in her boudoir. Regardless, Ms. Blowhan; um I mean Lohan; Yeah; Ms. Lohan’s medical problems will, I GUARANTEE, have me talking for the next week

It seems that America’s best marketed idiot is a chain jacker. Word is that Nick (you know…..the other newlywed) is suing her for spousal support, saying that she hasn’t given him back his “miscellaneous jewelry.” I think the real question is whether any of dem’ 98 boyz will pull a Spider-Loc and snuff that girl in the club like Yuk. Whatever happens I’m sure the 98 degrees spinner will show up in the next one of Jessica’s videos. She’ll be rockin that shit with the “Platamapus” T-shirt, Black Gloves, and The .38 Snub. Banks Style.

Classic.

So this past few weeks I’ve been keeping my ear to the street as always and I’ve noticed a disgustya trend… everyone and their sister wants to make a rap record. For the sake of our ears, I hope the following do no such thing. For real, make a cookbook (for a kitchen, not for a meth lab) of recipes or some shit.

The most recent one is the Indy Colts, have recorded a rap song.. on second thought, if they make the superbowl and have a 2006-version of the 83′bears superbowl shuffle, so I guess I will wait before officially denouncing this rap effort, but may I suggest a different title then “Go Colts” how about “We Gon Kill You (on the field only, followed by a co-team prayer)”.

After mis-conceived dreams that he can rap after some crackers cheered him at their championship victory, Tony Parker is coming out with a Rap Album?!?!? And he even got F-a-b-o-l-o-u-s on that shit.. (I’ll let Fab slide because I’m pretty certain he got a fat check). There is even a video for this, and fucking Nazr Mohammed and Brent Barry are in it?? Why not just go all out and get Vinny Del Negro and Will Perdue in that shit? I can wait for the shoutouts for the producer team for the album “bon jour to le ‘Polygrafic of Texas’ Sound Scientists'”. You cant make stuff like this up, but if you buy this, please kill yourself by jamming some spurs memorabilia down your throat (then ill mention you on ML for sure!!).

I cant even put this shit into a paragraph..
-Artest worked out in the Indiana JCC??!?!
Fuck it here is the whole quote… of the article

My favorite part of the whole thing is when we ask about T.O. and he replies, “Why? What happened?” Only Artest could say that and actually mean it. Most of the guys on the show find Ron’s rap to be the key moment. We ask him to break off a verse and he’s kind enough to “give y’all a quick 16”; which my brother so diligently transcribes here:

“I’m feastin’ again, you think I won’t make it, I’m gonna grab the whole rap game and bend it and break it;

Because its hip-hop, yeah, raw and uncut, pores smell like residue from sticky icky stuff, slip some Mickey in my cup;

Get pound out quick, roundhouse kicks, blood on your nice kicks, its hard for me to shoot bricks, easy to shoot pricks, flow got a high kick;

Just like Bruce, kid, maybe Chuck Norris, record sales taken off like flights departin’, and you just survivin’ cause your songs is garbage…”

Once he finishes, I reply, “Thank you, that was considerate.” And yes, I’m taking crap for that and it may be my new catch phrase. F’real though, Artest’s work here is far superiorto K-Fed’s new joint.

Other highlights from the interview, as transcribed by my brother:

· On punching fans: “Jermaine got a really, really professional hit in there … Mine was more amateur.”

· On retirement: If Indiana wins the title, “There’s a good chance” he’ll retire.

· On Wallace: “I’m not pissed at Ben Wallace … I wanna fight him in the boxing ring.”

· On T.O.: “Sometimes he goes overboard … That’s my man though, I love him … I don’t know if he should down his teammates as much as he does.”

· On playing elsewhere: “Brooklyn is the gutter; I wouldn’t mind playing in Brooklyn.”

· On his cars: “I got a bunch of old toys … Gas is so expensive these days.”

· His ’05-’06 predictions: “Jermaine will come away with the MVP … He’s the best player on our team, and we’ll be the best team by July.”

Source & Listen to the interview here
, man.. *no homo* but never has an athlete made me so happy with no matter he does. I need to meet him.

Britney Spears’ own male hoe bag Kevin Federline is coming out with some musics too, if you don’t find this clip peeing your pants worthy, please consider heavy medication. And who ever allowed this to be recorded should be sent to Yemen (Its like Iraq cept without all that war stuff). In the aforementioned interview Artest asks about K-Fed “What is it an Opera?”.

yet Pharohe Monch cant get a record out :/

out.