Metal Lungies

Thanks to Hot Karl, I came across two very good reads.

Thumb up for sleazy.

This article is about Joe Francis the founder of the Girls Gone Wild brand which has been teasing you with college girls on cable as long as most of you can remember. and it shows you that he is a true humanitarian. Take a look:

But the women are changing, Francis tells me, and that makes him sad. In the beginning, when “Girls Gone Wild” cameramen first popped up in clubs, the women who revealed themselves seemed innocent—surprised, even, by their own spontaneity. Now that the brand is so pervasive, the women who participate increasingly appear to be calculating exhibitionists, hoping that an appearance on a video might catapult them to Paris Hilton-like fame.

And Francis is getting a bit old for spring break. He says he’s tiring of the eternal vacation. “It’s really the worst thing, in my mind,” he says, comparing it to a trade show or a convention. “It’s fun for everybody else but me. I just get hounded by kids. It was more fun not being famous on spring break.” What’s more, the press has been omnipresent and, he says, too critical. “I’ve been anally raped over and over by the media.”

It’s an odd sort of thing for him to say. In January 2004, as news reports recounted, he was forced at gunpoint to simulate sodomizing himself with a vibrator as an intruder videotaped him in his Bel-Air mansion. A 28-year-old named Darnell Riley was arrested 14 months later, after police received a tip from Paris Hilton. Riley pleaded guilty to robbery and attempted extortion and was sentenced to 10 years and eight months. He is serving his time in Corcoran State Prison.

Yea… I think this one of the few times in life I wouldn’t feel bad about someone getting sodomized. Cry me a river, you’ve become a multi-millionaire and you want someone to feel sorry that the girls are not as ‘innocent’ as they used to be and you can’t enjoy Spring Break like you used to? Someone please start a fund to help Joe Francis out. This guy would lead a list of what is wrong with people these days, money and sex crazed, because you know that all is life is these days. I didn’t quote the type of shit Francis does on a standard day but it is a MUST read.

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This next thing Karl found is a fucking long read but well worth it. It is being made into a movie and one of the craziest true life stories I’ve heard in a while. I won’t say anything so you read the whole damn thing but, I don’t know which guy was more crazy.

XXL magazine never ceases to amaze me. I was flipping through the recent issue of XXL when I came across an ad for PETA, of all things, urging readers to go vegeterian. Interestingly enough the ad featured Masta Killa, standing over a plate of some appetizing food.

The ad for PETA in XXL was not the weird part though. It was the fact that the ad was in the back section of the magazine. A portion which is usually used for the sale of nude pictures of disproportionately weighted women to prison inmates. Not to mention the numerous talent agency ads, and the occassional offer to “meet local bi guys”. I guess PETA doesn’t have the advertising budget of, say, a Joker Brand Clothing Company and must instead advertise in the Meat Parade Section (I’m Punny Like Joel Siegel!) of this writer’s favorite mag.

Depressing.

Good Issue Though. Cop it. Check that top 20 street albums article.

Oh Yeah. Heres the PETA2 page for Masta Killa. Watch the interview.

JP: btw
JP: i hope it’s safe to microwave styrofoam
Pal: uh
Pal: it’s totally not
JP: because i just heated up last night’s mexican food
JP: hahah
JP: dude don’t lie
Pal: seriously, that’s a no no
JP: haha
JP: well crap
JP: i just put it in the microwave for 2 minutes
Pal: put some metal in there, it’ll be like a double neg and cancel it out
JP: if i die you can have my dignity
Pal: so i’d get nothing?

This little conversation prompted me to do some research, which led me to:

http://howthingswork.virginia.edu/microwave_ovens.html

This is the most amazing Q&A set I have ever read. If you’ve ever wondered about microwaves and how they work, check this page out. My favorite question has to be:

My husband put a large metal bowl in our new microwave oven and tore a small hole in the oven’s metal screen while trying to close the door. My husband isn’t concerned, but the oven is mounted over the stove at face level and it certainly concerns me. Can we use it? — E, Ontario, Canada

I still haven’t figured out if styrofoam is hazardous after being nuked.

-JP

I really like the guys jogging outfit..shit I like hers too!

After such a phenomenal response (telepathic of course, see: 0 comments to the post) to the fart in the shoe aisle story, here is another ‘story’.
So being the gadget whore that I am, I’ve been jogging (or “yogging” as my gf calls it because..she um prefers to make her j’s “soft”) more than usual thanks to apple’s nike+ ipod nano thing that tracks your runs and makes pretty graphs and so on, I’m sure even the grandmas at retirement communities have heard about it by now so I’m not going to explain anymore what it is (OR GOOGLE DAMMIT). So the Jog starts off normal as any other, but before I am 30 seconds into it, a car speeding by with someone sticking out of the passenger window that yells “HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO“, (and reacting as if my only interaction are the rats at petsmart) I jump up and get startled mid-stride as the car passed by me (in retrospect I think it might have been a friend of mine driving by (I SWEAR I HAVE THEM, I HAVE PICTURES!!). Anyway I keep jogging and not a few minutes later thanks to all the wonderful forest chopping they are doing in the county I spot not one, not two but THREE deer on the fucking sidewalk. Being afraid they will triple-team me into naughty things I have to run into the road to run around them. OK that should be enough right? Nope. A few minutes later an early 90’s chevy/ford red pickup truck comes to a crawl and a scruffy looking man with a pony tail, yells out to me if I need a ride.. (??? I wasn’t running from the police.) My elementary schools lessons of not to get into strangers cars overcomes my middle-age sketch looking male fetish, and I just ignore the man and keep running (OK I’m not gonna play it completely tough I sped a up a little). Then with all the lumbering that’s going on to build a new road to the interstate comes a construction site and the sidewalk I had to go through a bit later was really thin because there was an ass load of work near there with a lot of crew (even at 9pm!!), and I noticed there was a mid-20s couple walking senior citizen style in a single file, so I had to zig zag through them and almost fall into a ditch to pass them, as I passed them I heard some grumblings and simply waved in apology, they probably thought I was showing them up. So the rest of the way there weren’t much things to note. But when I got home, I dropped my iced strawberry-kiwi (NO Formula 50 in this house!) vitamin water in kitchen spilling all over, so i just proceeded to roll around and soak it up with my sweaty body (OK that’s a lie, I had to use a roll of bounty paper towels to clean that shit up). Oh yeah, my run was only 6 seconds off my average.
So there you have it kids if you like deer, old men in pickup trucks or other shit, please come to Maryland and jog at 9pm on the streets!

out.

Some shit I want to drop on you guys real quick…

Rick Ross showing the best rap beard this side of Freeway.

First in celebration of me being able to see RICKEEEYYYYYYYY ROSSSSSSSSS along with Ghostface in a few weeks, check out a preview by the Fader of the record here. I think it is going to be a hot summer album.

Carl Monday is saving mankind.

Now this is by far and I mean by very far my fav. story of the year, maybe the decade. It comes thanks to the amazing folks over at deadspin. There is a investigative reporter in Cleveland that did a story on umm some behaviors of Library patrons… the rest is internet history. The saga has lasted a few months and could be labeled the Mike Cooper Saga. Check out the the video that started it all here, then the saga came to a very beautiful conclusion this past week in court. You know Carl Monday is special when he has his own
Fan Page. There better be a part deux with maybe a hardware store stripper or something. PLEASE.

WARNING WARNING EVA LONGORIA WITHOUT MAKEUP FOLLOWS…

hot.

and yup Ron Artest is still keeping everything on point. see here:

Q: Have you talked to him, done any campaigning to get him back?

A: He called me last week. I told him if he leaves, then I’m going to kill him. Unless he wants to die, he’s got to stay (with the Kings).

umm.. Bonzi I’d Take Ron’s advice.

Source also Deadspin.

I think Borat will be movie of the year.

BONUS: Kayslay speaks on Papoose and more.

out.

Scrappy is loyal to Mrs. Cleo till his last day, word up.

So XXL posted an interview with now G-Unit homie Lil Scrappy, it is quite interesting.

my 2 highlights;

Is there anything you wouldn’t do for more money?

Yeah, I mean, I wouldn’t be no faggot. That’s about it.

So there you have it folks he will do anything for some money, cept some homo activities. Talk about self value.

&

You rhyme a lot about blaming the government on this new song “Shake My World.” Are you getting political on the new album?

Actually, I was just doing that song, so I guess somebody got their hands on it and put it out there. But I mean, I am political. Who ain’t political? Nobody likes what’s going on. But the whole thing about that song is, I was saying that we blame everything that happens to us on everybody else. In the song I’m like [sings] George Bush to blame¦For everything. Like, why? I don’t like some shit that he do, I’m a democrat all day. But at the end of the day, this dude, he a gorilla. He goin’ against these other muthafuckas and he trying to win. He trying to get that oil. But whatever he trying to get, he trying to put it over here. They tell people The Hurricane is coming. Is it his fault that you didnt leave? I don’t understand that. But I am with the people when they say Fuck George Bush because of a lot of the fucked up shit that he do.

Now I think more rappers should be aware of whats going on and political, but don’t stand up for a president if you are gonna say fuck him in the end, it doesn’t make much sense. I know very few people who think Bush was not involved in the whole Katrina fiasco, Scrappy being one of them now I guess.

speaking of say what..

All those PBS fiends will want that Master P chain. I guess it’s hard to get cred on Seaseme Street.

and then there is this..

too hot.

Also there is this guy, just for turning himself in during a live news broadcast while drinking a sprite he should be set free.

So Maurice Clarett thinks playing in some beer indoor football league will turn his career around….yea when the team has 4 players and is goining to have ‘tryouts’ sometime soon..So I wonder how much he is getting payed.

So I was over at SpineMagazine and they posted a new Rampage (long time Flipmode Squad homie) track off of his new album, the track is called
I’m Rollin With You,
in an interview when the said song is asked about…

Nobodysmiling.com : A lot of people are saying you don’t need to pay excessive amounts for money for beats; did you have to pay big bucks for the Neptunes beat?

Rampage : Nah. Sometimes I just don’ pay nothing for beats. I just make sure they get it on their publishing.

So what is the damn point you ask? Well it is very simple listen here, he used a 5 year old Backstreet Boys track and is either trying to pull a fast one making it seem he is down with the neptunes (he even shouts out them on the track), which is pretty sad when it looks like Rampage probably acquired the beat without even working directly with the neptunes. Or if he did work with the neptunes, why would you use a 5 year old beat? Or did the neptunes try to rip off Rampage (least likely IMO). Regardless why would you put this on a retail album? This shit should stick to mixtapes, where I wouldn’t have any problem with it. Any insight folks?

Biz Markie shows Fat Joe, what Fat really is.

So Fat Joe is telling everyone to bet our kitchen sinks on his new album which drops in september, as much as I enjoy betting my kitchen sink on things (or throwing refrigerators), I am not buying it because he already has had records with Scott Storch and Just Blaze, and digging up the same formula once more isn’t going to work, but I am hopeful, I would be sold if he got Primo back, now that would be a statement.

Some local shit…

Baltimore is going to be the place be late July for Artscape, Concerts by Common, Goapele, Citizen Cope, Cut Chemist, Peanut Butter Wolf all for FREE.
check out more info here. I am def there.

Cause my etiquette skills are so sick, Aren’t only women supposed to curtsy?

So I was watching the news and I saw a new hotel opening up in DC called Hotel Palomar, that has all of it’s employees ballet trained, let me tell you that no “real” man should ever be staying at this hotel.. Story 1, Story 2. Well if you do.. you might as well be wearing a fairy outfit.

speaking of the news.. and someone sadly reppin DC…

Well atleast Maury Povich has the flyest…80 year old newsreporter. Props dude.

Before I go, one more album like the Clipse album is finally coming out..Nore, it better not be some Daddy Yankee shit.

out.

I was flipping through channels and I came across Spike TV, and they had some wrestling on (I used to be a big fan of wrestling in my early teens, in the late 90s), I saw a familiar face but something was wrong, but I wasn’t sure…then I realized what the hell was wrong they had a segment with a wrestler wearing BLACKFACE, are you fucking kidding that in the year 2006 this is viewed acceptable? Where the hell is Spike TVs Standards & Practices lawyers?? If it was some other group of people being disrespected someone would have a big enough problem that it wouldn’t air. Everyone involved with this travesty from the racists that wrote the storyline to the wrestlers that apparently have no self-value. If I was a wrestler, even if it was my only way to make a living and I was instructed to do something like this, I would be leave. I wonder what the Black wrestlers of this company thought when they saw this?

Here are the pictures:

Non-Blackface

if you don’t understand why I’m so pissed maybe you should start some reading over here.

people, what are your thoughts?

EDIT—————-

wow… I sort of remember this, so I guess the TNA shouldnt really suprise me considering 2 of the same guys are involved in both. Probably more tomorrow.