Metal Lungies

I was randomly scanning the MLB news on espn, and for some random reason I decided to read a brief about some relief pitcher that got hit with a DUI. Nothing exciting there, but the picture in the article stole show. This dude, named Gustavo Chacin, took his photo in his sunglasses…with a goofy smile. I decided to do some more digging and boy did it pay off. Since deadspin is always ahead of the curve, I’ll summarize:

• He has a cologne named after him and he knows his trends in scents: “This year, amber is going to be a very popular smell. It’s a very sensual note, a very deep note.”.
• In the laboratory he wears a lab coat… and stylish lab appropriate sunglasses:

I just hope he wasn’t drunk off his cologne, or an ingredient of it.

    Quietly but surely over the past two years+ the Portland Trail Blazers have worked on cleaning up their cocaine sniffing/dog fighting/domestic abuse image. On the other hand it seems the Indiana Pacers have been trying to make their image as dirty as possible. They started will a bang with that small brawl/riot in Detroit 2 years ago, which was seen even in little huts in China, the centerpiece of that event, and ML favorite Ron Artest was traded. It was followed up this summer with one the brawl participants, Stephen Jackson, randomly popping off his gun after getting hit by a car over this past summer, which was.. in violation of his probation from the Detroit brawl. He was traded. So getting rid of another bad apple would bring in guys that behaved better right? If that was true would this post even exsist? Instead they got Keith McLeod, a benchplayer who… wait for it….was accused of beating up a bar manager. Did he act solo? Nope. Jamal Tinsley and Marquis Daniels were there to join in on the fun. My predication for the next incident: Tory Murphy steals a book at Borders.

out.

p.s. a formal welcome to BBoy Grunt, he is going to be killing all y’all jive turkeys with his his New York shiiiiit.

BREAKING NEWS! From the playbook pages of Diddy’s Vote or Die Campaign, former MLB Pitcher/ star of the cinematic masterpiece ‘The Greenskeeper’, John Rocker, comes with ‘SPEAK ENGLISH’. Accompanied on this “campaign” is Ms. Bikini Universe 2004, Alicia Marie, who for the most part is a vital piece in the movement, utilizing the Belly Shirt version of the SPEAK ENGLISH apparel/propaganda line. John Rocker would like to know from his life-changing MSNBC interview from Rita Crosby that:

“It’s not a business, it’s a campaign”

Near the end he mentions that it’s hard to get a white collar job with out speaking english. It really is so thoughtful that John Rocker is concerned about people getting white collar jobs, because clearly he has one.

Also, John, can we at least get a PLEASE on the shirt? AMERCIAN MANNERS DAMMIT!

Lastly, check out the banner from his official site, (where you can conveniently stock up on your ‘SPEAK ENGLISH’ merchandise, no word on where the proceeds go? I wonder??)

The 2nd to last picture looks like its CNN’s lead reporter interviewing John, oh, and I hope John’s cat can SPEAK ENGLISH.

On the site he has posted the longest piece of writing he has probably ever written.

In his letter he mentions;

I went to numerous local holiday celebrations such as parties that centered on the Puerto Rican holiday “Three Kings Day”, as well as numerous other festivals and gatherings. 

So using this idea, if I were to go to a “Three Kings Day” and muster out a few lines like maybe, “Mami Es Muy Caliente”, I could be seen as someone who is conforming to the Puerto Rican culture. Honestly after I got one good quote out of this one and a half page turd, I stopped reading, I’m sure it sings of beauty and intelligence afterwards but sadly I’m no where near John Rocker’s comprehension level to compute any more of this totally awesome campaign. In conclusion it must be said…

JOHN ROCKER FOR THE PRESIDENITAL CABINET !! VIVA (SORRY JOHN!) SALUTE ‘SPEAK ENGLISH’!!

out.

This isn’t a street performer, this is a soccer player.

I heard about this story a bit ago, and you might’ve too,  but in case you haven’t… on the Sunday the 24th (=Today!), In South Africa the Homeless World Cup of Soccer is kicking off! Sadly there will be no TV coverage as far as I can see, I would actually pay for this on pay per view, thankfully there is a webcam on the offical site!. I kind of find it ironic that these people are homeless, yet the sponsors can throw an event which costs at least a few millions, the eligibility requirements are very interesting as well;

Players must:

• Be male or female and at least 16 years of age at the time of the tournament
• Have been homeless at some point after the previous year’s World Cup OR
• Make their main living income as a streetpaper vendor OR
• Be asylum seekers (who have neither positive asylum status nor working permit)          

Needless to say I will be cheering on our best US Homeless soccer players.

Offical Site   Washington Post Article

In celebration of the first sunday in this NFL season, I’m posting a song that pays homage to one of my favorite NFL players behind Marcus Washington, Santana Moss of the Washington Redskins.
My favorite line in the song is:

And now he’s in the NFL str-8 punishing dudes / And when they in that cover 2, watch him give them all a “sue-flae”

Credit goes to D.C. Sports Bog, which by the way is a must-read for any DC area sports fan.

as Juelz would say, AY!

Thanks to Deadspin.

If thats not a NBA’s player mischievous smile I don’t know what is.

Two years ago I awoke to a top story on the local news. Rodney White was arrested in DC (PS in my google research for White, I came across an article saying he has a place in Bethesda? Bethesda? Is this guy really from Detroit?) for shooting off a gun in the air while in a Landrover, the reporters who were covering the story obviously didn’t know who Rodney White was.. but they knew he was an “NBA Star”, if this was a ABA dude the police probably wouldn’t even waste paper on him to do a police report and the TV stations wouldn’t waste their film, there are local crackheads who are more important/popular. The general public quickly realized his career avg is about 5 points per game and quickly forgot about the matter.

 

I hope Lonny keeps his guns and hugs separate, the combiniation might result in some cute violence.

Fast forward to this morning, Last night Lonny Baxter was arrested near Dubya’s pad you guessed it.. popping off a gun in air. The local news footage of him being cuffed is pretty nice too as he is pretty much falling out of his loosely tied Air Dunks. Now Lonny is a local guy who grew up in Silver Spring, MD, went to UMD, even played for the Wizards so he was having a nice local night out. But for Lonny to shoot of a gun? I always thought he was a softie that probably enjoyed a nice big hug, I guess not. Oh and since he will be playing for Montepaschi Siena which might’ve forced me to get a gun but not point it to the moon, but rather my temple (Do they give Pizza bonuses to players over there??). This year he can’t be considered a NBA anything per say but you know this gun charge has earned him enough cred to be right back in the league, dressed nicely sitting on the sideline.
So now I ask who is going to be next to pop off a gun in DC? Telfair? Jasikevicius? My Money is on Alan Henderson.

P.S. Another angle of what happened with Lonny is maybe Dubya didn’t want to party up agian with him and Lonny was in a downer mood as a result?

  

Something has happened inside of Bristol that is begging for a Carl Monday investigation. Just about a week ago there was the ESPN original programming of the World Series of Darts. But now my attention shifted to Sportscenter, The writers and the producers of the show have either hit the wall for new & fresh ideas or have simply picked up smoking crack during their writing sessions. First let me give you some background info, Sportscenter has been for as long as I can remember my most watched show on a daily basis, I would fall asleep and wakeup to it. Even on Sundays and Saturdays when they tried to stretch the show longer than the content allowed, I still watched. Then you started getting horrible anchors, even having competitions for spots (Mike Hall where are youuuu? oh yeah ESPN UUUUUU…Mike Holmes? dead?), I still watched. Then you started having more and more NASCAR & Golf coverage, I still watched. Then you started to resemble MTV with Chris Conolloy doing pieces, Stuart Scott doing Slam poetry, It was tough to continue watching, but I still did. Now as I reflect and realizing I haven’t seen a Kenny Mayne piece in months its time to say goodbye. You may ask why now do I give up? Well it simple, last night as yours truly was trying to fall asleep to some SC, they had the Yankees highlights on, and because Mike Mussina was in some documentary about crossword puzzles they thought it would be ‘cool’ to incorporate that into the highlight package by having a random clue as a precursor to what the highlight was going to be next of, ie “A boxing video game” that was 8 letters, proceed to show a “punchout” or “Bart’s dad” showed the highlight of a  drum roll please…. a “homer”. Seriously unless I haven’t seen any television in about 11 years and was hiding in the caves of Pakistan, I might have been amused for the first one but not for one to lead into every highlight of the game! A unemployed man’s time is to precious for that crap! I simply can not take the painful viewing SportsCenter (and ESPN) continue to bring to me. So now since I live in the DC area I have the fine choice of letting George Michael (yes, we get the flavoring of the George Michael’s Sports Machine here every night!) lead me in to pass out time aka sleep. Actually I think I’ll choose silence with the tv off, thanks ESPN!

out.

P.S. this doesn’t mean I won’t be watching Dream Job: El Reportero.

His chest hair alone will probably get it’s own fan club. The man will start a revolution.

7.20.06

First you played a part in that craze of poker which saw middle schoolers forfeiting their lunches in exchange to play texas hold em’ at their lunch tables, by broadcasting the World Series of Poker in prime time on ESPN. I always thought this type of stuff should be relegated to ESPN2 in the afternoon mixed up with some 1993 NBA highlight show. I let that slide by simply choosing to watch another channel, prehaps a movie or some law & order (which only have commercials every 6.5 minutes). Now I can’t let this slide, as you have decided to double up your World Series servings by having the aforementioned, and now Word Series of Darts (!?!?!?), BOTH in prime time?!?! Lets just add Bowling to that mix and maybe some World Series of Golden Tee competitions live from an Alabama watering hole and I won’t ever need another channel on my TV. I really want to know the demographics who are enticed by the fact they can watch Darts on TV, I’m sure they are top notch members of society that also buy ESPN mobile, ESPN gatorade, ESPN board games. Oh and if you say these are legit ‘sports’ how come they don’t get a peep of coverage on sport center.. (DEAR GOD DON’T ACTUALLY COVER THEM ON THERE.).

Concerned ESPN Viewer,
Djlethal01

WARNING WARNING EVA LONGORIA WITHOUT MAKEUP FOLLOWS…

hot.

and yup Ron Artest is still keeping everything on point. see here:

Q: Have you talked to him, done any campaigning to get him back?

A: He called me last week. I told him if he leaves, then I’m going to kill him. Unless he wants to die, he’s got to stay (with the Kings).

umm.. Bonzi I’d Take Ron’s advice.

Source also Deadspin.

I think Borat will be movie of the year.

BONUS: Kayslay speaks on Papoose and more.

out.